Doug Benson on His Show The High Court

>> Jimmy: THIS SHOW, WERE YOU HIGH WHEN YOU CAME UP WITH THE IDEA FOR THIS SHOW? >> I WAS HIGH WHEN SOMEONE TOLD ME THE IDEA FOR THIS SHOW. >> Jimmy: I SEE. AND THEY THOUGHT OF YOU. >> AND I SAID YES. >> Jimmy: GOTCHA. >> I COULD ADJUDICATE LIKE ANYBODY. JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN MY MORAL STANCE CHANGES. >> RIGHT. NOW YOU HEAR THE CASE. THEN YOU GO IN -- ADJOURN TO YOUR QUARTERS. >> UH-HUH. >> Jimmy: AND YOU SMOKE WITH -- YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT COMEDIAN THERE AS YOUR BAILIFF EACH TIME. >> WE DLIELIBERATE. WHICH MEANS WE SIT THERE AND DO A BUNCH OF BONG RIPS. >> YOU COME BACK, THESE ARE REAL CASES. >> THESE ARE REAL PEOPLE WITH REAL PROBLEMS! >> Jimmy: YOU COME OUT AND TELL THEM -- >> NOBODY CARES MORE ABOUT THEM THAN I DO. BECAUSE WEED IS A VERY EMPATHETIC DRUG. >> Jimmy: IS THAT RIGHT? >> I THINK SO. >> Jimmy: IT MAKES YOU MORE COMPASSIONATE? >> I FEEL BAD WHEN I WAS DECIDING THAT SOMEONE OWED SOMEONE ELSE A LOT OF MONEY. BECAUSE THEY FELL ASLEEP ON THEIR COUCH WITH A JOINT IN THEIR MOUTH AND MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BURNT THAT COUCH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THEN BURNT THE COUCH. NOT ONLY THE -- >> I DON'T KNOW, THEY COULD BE LIARS. >> Jimmy: THERE ARE MANY CASES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. >> NOTHING TO DO WITH POT. I HAD A GUY LOOK AFTER MY DOG, NOW I WANT IT BACK, AND HE FELL IN LOVE WITH MY DOG SO HE WANTS TO KEEP IT. >> RIGHT. >> THE GUY WAS ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED THAT THE DOG LOVED HIM AND SO WAS THE ORIGINAL OWNER. SO WE JUST PUT THE DOG DOWN ON THE GROUND. LET THE DOG DECIDE. >> Jimmy: LIKE A SITCOM. >> LIKE LIFE, JIMMY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: SPOILER, WHO DID THE DOG GO TO IN THE OLD OR NEW OWNER? >> THE DOG WENT IMMEDIATELY TO THE OLD OWNER. >> Jimmy: OH, REALLY. >> TO THE VERY, VERY SADNESS -- THE GUY WHO DIDN'T GET THE DOG WAS EXTREMELY SAD ABOUT IT. >> Jimmy: I WOULD THINK SO. >> HE WAS CONVINCED THE DOG WOULD COME TO HIM. BECAUSE HE'D BEEN FEEDING IT FOR A FEW WEEKS. PROBABLY AT THE BOTTOM OF A WELL WITH SOME LOTION. I'M NOT SAYING HE WAS CREEPY, JIMMY. >> Jimmy: YEAH. WOW. THIS IS SOME IDEA FOR A SHOW. I MEAN, I THINK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE VERY SURPRISED WHEN THEY SEE THIS. >> I THINK SO. >> Jimmy: I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY JUST SMOKING POT ON TV BEFORE. >> NOT REAL POT. IT'S ALWAYS THE FAKE STUFF. IT'S ALWAYS -- THEY'RE ALWAYS MAKING THEMSELVES SICK ONNER ON LAYING GO. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE THE REAL STUFF. >> I SMOKE THE REAL STUFF, THEN I GO ON CRUISE SHIPS -- [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE IT ALL FIGURED OUT. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD -- CAN YOU SMOKE OUT OF THAT GAVEL? MAYBE THAT WOULD BE A NICE THING. >> WE HAVE ONE THAT'S BEEN CUSTOMIZED. FOR ME TO SMOKE OUT OF. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: YOU'VE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT. >> I'M BEING PROFESSIONAL HERE TONIGHT ON NETWORK TELEVISION. >> Jimmy: THANK YOU SO MUCH, ON BEHALF OF THE DISNEY CORPORATION, WE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. DOUG BENSON, EVERYBODY!

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