5 Types of Aunties Youve Definitely Met Before

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BuzzFeedVideo

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- Put some more in here, it is 2017, Auntie got time today, I got time this holiday. (electronic dance music) You're 21 now right, 'cause we 'bout to drink. Don't tell your momma. (electronic dance music) You gonna need a new tablecloth for all the tea I'm getting ready to spill, I know that. That's why he can't keep a girl now, that's why he got three baby mommas, cause he always out here. Uh-uh, a little bit more. Them degrees ain't gonna keep you warm at night now. Find yourself somebody on the yard, preferably not light-skinned, 'cause they don't know how to act. Me and your daddy never got along. He used to say I drank too much, I don't know why he would ever say I drink too much and your mother would agree, my own sister. - Have you heard of this new app called The Bible? (lively choir music) Here you go, baby. (wrapping paper crinkles) - [Niece] Oh great, another Bible. (choir music continues) - You're welcome. Father, God, I thank you, Jesus, for this food as it nourishes our souls, our mind, and our spirits today, tomorrow, and the day after that, God. We thank you for your blessings and for the new Bible my baby got. - Now I know how Mariah feels. (classical music) You know, Winston and I just got back from Bora Bora. It was a marvelous time. Your mother, she's always been a little envious of me. And I love her, but it was never in her cards. I remember us being three years old and her picking Rose Art over Crayola. Who does that? What's a girl gonna do? (laughs) You just gotta let go and let God. (laughs) - You remember my roommate, Sarah, right? (hip-hop music) - Dating, dating anyone? (laughs) No, I've been slammed, between work and school. I'm getting my third degree, PhD. I'm focusin' on me right now. Last month I was actually in Miami. It was for this weird thing called Sweet Heat. It was all females, women empowerment. I'm really about that, I'm a big feminist. I met a lot of friends, got a lot of new friends. - Oh my god, you are glowing. Have you been drinking the kombucha I sent? (funky music) I made y'all some brownies. Your mom used to love these. Don't tell her I gave you them though. What do you mean you're out of kale? What do you have that's locally sourced? I can't do sugar, I can't do oil, I can't do seasonings. Is there anything you guys can hook up for me in the back? Okay, ya, you know what, just bring me a bread basket, thanks. - [Server] I can do that. - It feels so good to have money. Do you see this coat? (laughs) - I earned this. - About to get high as fuck. - No, I need some wine to deal with y'all, my messy ass sisters, and their trifling ass husbands. I can't stand none of them and their badass kids. That's why I have kids, that's what I tell everybody. You can't drink when you pregnant and got young children. No, no. (bright pop music)

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