Dealing with Quarantine Rut Feeling Insecure sad and anxious Ft Lots of advice 🌹




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Stop! Being! Sad! Over! You! Can't! Control! Stupid! It just wasn't working for me anymore. Confidence. And no one can make you do things. [Quarantine Vlog: How to deal w/ a rut.] I should not be awake right now. But... I was in bed. And I was thinking about everything I wanted to talk about in this vlog. I was going to sort this vlog in the morning. And vlog my whole day. But I was just getting a little ahead inside of my head. About everything I wanted to talk about in this vlog. Uhm...Basically, I wanted to talk about this tiny rut that I was having. Oh my gosh, my hair! Sorry, it's literally 3 AM and I have zero... I don't care how I look like is what I'm trying to say. So, I just got out of my very, very short week-long rut. I don't really wanna call it a rut. Because I know this wasn't an actual rut. A few years ago, I... Maybe like sophomore year of high school, I had a rut. Like an actual rut in my life for the first time. And that was such a traumatic experience for me. After that, I kind of know how to pick myself up. When I'm feeling down so that I don't go down the same path again. Last week, I was... Very very close to falling down into a rut. And just being in that really negative mind space. But I wanted to talk about it with you guys. Just in case some of you guys are going through the same thing. Maybe I can give you some advice and tips to help you feel better. And to help you get out of it, hopefully. To explain how my week look like last week, I was barely getting out of bed. Especially because I don't have things to do. I just stayed in bed all day. I was pushing off my workouts. I wasn't going outside. Especially because it was raining. All week, pretty much. The weather was crappy, it was cloudy. There was barely any sunlight. But also because I have my blinds closed. Because I wasn't really getting out of bed to open them. I was spending a lot of time on my phone. Especially just on social media. Just going through TikTok, Instagram, Instagram stories, Snapchat stories. I wasn't talking to my friends. I wasn't really talking to my family. It was just... Everything bad. I was doing it. Spending a lot of time on TikTok. And just seeing the highlight reel of everyone online also made me feel like... It made me feel worthless, pretty much. I felt like I was such a boring person. Watching everyone living in like...These mansions. And watching people live by the lake, live by the beach. Having this really picture-perfect life online it made me feel like I was boring, I wasn't good enough, I wasn't cool enough. Because I've been living in a small town, pretty much my whole life. And to compare myself to people living in big cities or somewhere interesting, it just makes me feel less than them. And...Yeah. The whole week, I was just struggling with my confidence level. I was feeling horrible about the things I couldn't change. And the things that I'm stuck with my whole life. Like my appearance, my background, my experience. I can't change any of that. And I was just being so sad about the things I couldn't change. After some thinking, I came to a realization that... What I was going through was completely normal. And understandable. Especially during a time like this. I had coping mechanisms that I was working with. To keep myself productive, to keep myself happy. But... The coping mechanisms were just wearing off. And it just wasn't working for me anymore. Because... Even, like... For example, workouts. If you do the same workout every single day for months, you're going to reach a point where it doesn't work anymore. And my coping mechanisms. And the way that I was dealing with all the anxiety and stress. And the fact that I have to stay home, away from friends. It just wasn't working anymore. And it was time for me to find new ways to deal with my problems. But I wasn't really trying hard. And I was just letting everything get to me. I was just in bed. Letting emotions affect me. Letting the anxiety affect me. So if you are hitting the rock bottom right now, of quarantine, know that maybe it's time to try new things. And to find new ways to deal with stress and frustration. And then for confidence issues... I think the biggest help has been thinking: There is literally nothing that I can change. So I have to deal with what I've got. I can't change the way I look. I can't change who I am. I can't change my family. I can't change my background. I can't change my ethnicity. I can't change my hair color. I can't change my skin color. I can't change... [Basically, there are SO MANY things that we simply cannot control.] I can't go back and change my experiences. [Basically, there are SO MANY things that we simply cannot control.] I can't go back and change my decisions. I can't change any of that. And if it's out of my control, if I'm not happy about it, then there's nothing I can do. Yeah, that is the mindset that we really should be having. There is nothing I can do. So I'm going to deal with it and I'm going to work with what I've got. And here is a question for yourself. If you are struggling with... I'm just going to use myself as an example. Because that's just easier. A few days ago, I was feeling so crappy about how there are people living in like, California. They're living by the beach in this pretty house. They skateboard, they surf. They do all this fun stuff. And they just seem like such an interesting, fun person. And here I am, in the middle of nowhere. In a small town. I'm just in bed all day. I don't do anything outside. I don't have any cool, interesting hobbies. And I, compared to this person... In my head, seem like such a boring person. But let's say that I go to college. And I meet this person from another random town. Another random small town. Am I not going to become friends with this person? Just because this person is not from New York city, where it's fun and interesting? No! I literally don't give a crap about where this person is from! Because if this person is fun to be around with, that is all I care about. And that is probably the case for all of us. So, there is really no reason I should feel bad about where I come from. And who I am. And my boring hobbies. It literally does not matter. So that is what I learned from my small baby rut. Usually when I'm feeling emotional and just sad about my life, it's caused by comparisons. And... Just not accepting myself for who I am. But I'm kind of curious about what causes you guys to be sad. Or what causes you guys to be emotional. And to be in a rut. And also, one big, big thing I try to remind myself every day is that it is not the wealth, it is not the look that makes you look attractive. It is always going to be confidence that makes you look attractive. And that radiates the energy that people like. So never think that you need to meet all the materialistic goals to be attractive. Or to appear attractive. No. It is confidence. And we all are beautiful the way we are. And it always sounds so cringy. Oh my gosh, but... Honestly, we can't change... We were born into this world. Looking the way we are. And...We can't change anything about it. So, we're all beautiful the way we are. And as long as we are confident in ourselves, and we like ourselves for who we are, no one can say otherwise. And no one can tell you that you're not beautiful. So, yeah. Confidence is what I'm trying to work on. My word of the year was "confidence." And here I am struggling with it. But, if I'm struggling with it, it means that I'm growing. And that I'm challenging myself to grow. So that's a good thing. If you're struggling with sleep, I do have some tips. Because when I am feeling emotional and when I have a lot of thoughts inside my head, I cannot go to bed. My sister always recommends me meditation. There are meditations in all different languages. There are meditations of different lengths. Different voices, you know. You can look for what you like. Personally, I can't fall asleep to listening to something that is like hours long. So I usually listen to this one ASMR video. I freaking love this. I...yeah. Literally the best ASMR video that I've ever listened to. So check it out. I love this one. I love listening to Jhené Aiko. She studies sound therapy. And all of her songs are so relaxing. And they are scientifically proven that it helps you relax. Definitely recommend her new album. And then, I also have an Apple playlist that I listen to when I go to bed. So, if you have Apple Music, check my playlist out. And...yeah. Braindump journaling also helps tremendously. I have blog posts about this if you want to read about it. And something that helps with mental health, is just less social media. Oh my gosh. It is so easy, but so hard. Spend less time on social media and start reading. Because social media can be toxic without even us noticing. And I think everyone just knows it. It's hard not to be on it. So less time on social media. Read more... I love reading poems, so I read poetry. Self-help books are good. But it can also be a little overwhelming. When people are telling you that you need to do this and that to be successful. Sometimes you just don't need that. We need something to relate to. So I like reading essays or narrative stories. Or...Poetry. So these are my tips. Now, let's get into the vlog. [Cloudy day but we'll make it work!] [making oat milk] I just properly worked out for the first time in like a week. I went on a 30 minute walk. But it started to kind of rain, so I came home. I did an ab workout. And a very short arm workout. And them I'm gonna shower. Today is Memorial Day which is a holiday here. It doesn't really feel like a holiday to me. Just because I... Every day has been kind of like a holiday for me. But I've been trying to be more productive today. You guys only see me being productive in my videos. But then, let me tell you. Last week, I was just...I did nothing. So, I'm trying to ba... I'm trying to pick things back up. I also have to prepare for my podcast recording tonight. And then...I don't really know. Today is gonna be another chill day. [Later that day...] We're supposed to record our podcast. And my sister is not picking up! Great! [Recorded an episode about my college application & decision process!!] I thought I was gonna be applying to other schools too. [Recorded an episode about my college application & decision process!!] I was going to apply to Boston University. I think I was thinking about... [Next morning!] [Get out of bed and worked out] I know, for the most part, this video was me talking.l But I had to do that. Because the main message that I wanted to get across through this video was to let you guys know that... It's okay to feel unmotivated. It's okay to have the resting time. Even if your mind is in a negative space. That is how you grow. And that is how you move on to find different ways to deal with stress and anxiety. And that's how you figure out how to grow, basically. To get out of a rut, or to not get into a rut, it's really up to you. No one can make you get out of bed. No one can make you do things. You are the one who has to want it. And who tells yourself to get out of bed. But sometimes, we need someone who tells us to get out of bed. Who gives us some sort of directions on how to go about things. And hopefully... I can be that kind of person if you need that kind of person in your life. Even if it's just a video. And I'm talking to a camera right now. Hopefully, my message touches some people's heart out there who needs it. And...Yeah. Know that you're never alone. This morning, I really didn't want to get up. I probably hit snooze 2-3 times. But I got up. Because I knew that I have to get out of bed first to feel motivated and to get that energy. So I got up. I worked out a little bit. I ate a healthy breakfast. I took a shower. And I made a to-do list. I listened to my favorite music. And I'm trying to lift my spirits up. So that I can feel my best and live my best life! Thank you guys so much for watching. Now I am now going to go about my day. And hopefully, I will have a productive and happy day. And I really hope that you guys have that too. See you in my next video! Bye!