Dinner with Cowboy Cerrone in a fancy restaurant


Chael Sonnen


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right when I got to Australia I was thrown a little bit off it turned out that they are 24 hours ahead of us exactly there one day ahead but 24 hours ahead which made it very easy to know what time it was you know like if I wanted to call my family or call back home I'd have to worry about calling them at 3:00 in the morning because it's noon where I am 24 hours off so I get in and I get in about 8:00 p.m. and as we're going up to our rooms I even said to Gilbert I said well goodnight you know he said hey you want to go out you want to do something I think we wanted to get dinner and I said not a lot as late as it is and I must tell you we were going to go fishing the next morning I'm not a big fisherman think great fishing trip is lined up out there we've got a 415 call time in the lobby to make it out to the water to get our fishing going so I get up to the room and I got to pull the drapes that like stays really light really late in in Australia so I get to the room I order a quick bite food comes I eat the food I brush my teeth I take my clothes off I get into bed and now it's about nine o'clock 9:15 p.m. even and I turn my head when I'm in bed I'm under the car I'm not tired but what am I gonna do I gotta get some sleep for this four am fishing time good night to adjust right so I turned my head and there happens to be a clock on the nightstand that tells me it's 2 o'clock go into a clock I wonder why this phone is so off alright wondering why this clock is off so I grab my phone know sure enough it's 9:00 p.m. well I realize for reasons unknown to me that my iPhone which I take everywhere and always adjusts to the current tunt never adjusted it was still telling me what time it was in Portland which was 9:00 p.m. it's only two o'clock in the afternoon so the first thing I do I call Gilbert I say Gilbert what time do you think it is he said two o'clock what time do you think it is I said I think it's nine o'clock cuz my phone says nine o'clock I said I told you goodnight why did you say something when I told you goodnight because I thought it was a weird thing to say I thought you were just I thought you were just trying to like make a joke I was surprised you didn't want to go out to do something it's only two o'clock at any rate I called home I told Joel this story he thought it was a very good story so I'm sharing it with you guys but I had a couple of other interesting things happen while I was in Australia one I had dinner with cowboy and we we have dinner and Nobu now Nobu is a very well-known sushi restaurant we don't have any of them in Portland where I live I've only been to one it was in Las Vegas I think it's Caesars Palace it was a number of years ago that I went it was absolutely delicious so when he got invited to this dinner I'm in I'm like oh yeah I'll meet you know so I go to Nobu and there's a whole table full of people there's one empty spot I sit down now there's one empty spot left and I'm told that Cerrone spot if Cerrone comes and the folks that I was going to dinner with had done a number of dinners with cowboy and sometimes he shows and sometimes he doesn't apparently that is what he is known for so we order in the way you order there it's eight courses and the chef picks the chef picks and he brings it out on whatever order he chooses so were five courses in to an eight course meal when cowboy Cerrone comes walking down the stairs we know he's walking down the stairs because he yelled something out that made the entire restaurant look now you do have to understand this is a very nice restaurant okay most people are in shirt and tie at the very least people are in nice shirts and the women are in dresses I mean it's it's an event you dress up forward it's it's a two or three hour experience the checks gonna be heavy when it comes it's just one of these deals cowboy comes walking down the stairs clearly intoxicated and dressed in shorts and Reeboks and a tank top so it brings attention to himself at the moment that he comes in so he has a seat at the table and he starts right in and the first thing he needs to know from the waitress who he referred to as barmaid hey barmaid where's the luge now loose means bathroom but they don't even call it a bathroom in Australia even though they speak English you would be shocked at the language barrier that they only know it as a toilet so he's telling the barmaid he needs the luge and when she doesn't pick up on luge he then tries to correct his English to something she will understand it tells her the pisser okay now this is like being at dinner with Wyatt Earp nobody says luge and nobody says pisser and quite frankly nobody says barmaid so cowboy has a seat and I'm so happy he's arrived I mean it right I was having a good time as it was but he's bringing every dinner like this if you guys ever go out every dinner like this you need somebody like cowboy if you want to have any fun so he then explains to me that they lost his bag then his bag headed for Australia was in Austria so he says yeah they must have just seen the nearest a and gave it a pitch and Here I am I went to an ATM and these were all the clothes that I could buy in front thankfully Reebok was here to throw in a pair of shoes so oK we've got the Wardrobe figured out then somewhere along the night and we are with I should mention this is a sponsors dinner and one of the gentlemen that represented the sponsors that we were there for these women come walking in and he looks over and he sees the woman who was on a date and he says to the table that's my ex-girlfriend what we thought that he was joking it's a very beautiful girl and we thought that was a joke like oh yeah that's my ex-girlfriend what no it turned out it was really his ex-girlfriend who's now on a date now he's in a really awkward scenario so cowboy decides the best way to deal with this is to steer right into it so he again calls over the barmaid points to the table and says send them some sake and when they ask who it's from make sure you point to my friend here in the white shirt so somewhere along the way they have now spotted the guy they've taken a look at the surroundings and they have decided that it's best they go eat somewhere else now I don't think that we did anything to make them feel uncomfortable I think that was a social awkwardness on their own regard but at any rate they get up to leave so the waitress barmaid barmaid comes back over and explains to Donald Abell has left of which we can see an empty table they have left but would like to know if he still wants her to send them the drinks he says way to let me let me get this straight you want to know if I want you to send drinks to an empty table like you're just gonna go set the drinks over there and then charge me for him and she says yes and he puts his drink down and looks her in the eye and says what would common sense tell you to do in this situation she says to cancel the drinks and he says follow common sense so at some point in the evening he smashed the table a couple of times the person we were with got up and left and and he thought wasn't coming back so he looked at the rest of the sponsors and says hey we don't know them I need to mention that they're very nice it was wonderful having dinner with them but we don't know that we're in a big round table and even though we're all eating together they're having their own conversations and Donald I are having our conversation so at one point he slams the table gets everybody looked up and says which one of you mother effers has the company credit card if one guy one guy kind of sheepishly raises his hand and Donald says great and then he turns back to the barmaid orders another drink and some cake that was by night with Donald Cerrone I have not let oh did I mention by the way at some point the opposing table was about 11 members of a local rugby team and Donald threatened to fight them all they recognized him and sat down I had to go over and kind of smooth that one over but at any rate