Family Guy Roasting Every Celebrity

[Music] what is that it's my magic eight ball this is the first black ball that kim kardashian hasn't played with we now return to jeremy piven as the incredible hulk you wouldn't like me when i'm angry i don't like you now fine geez i'll read 1984. you better cause this was more embarrassing than when we played truth or dare with present-day madonna uh truth do i look younger than 90. dear this is pitbull's house he knows everything about south florida he can help us find mort doorbell doorbell doorbell ring it's my house wow imagine kind of knowing two languages just need a little help just like how sylvester stallone needs help getting ready in the morning so what are we thinking this morning um you know i'm like a big face big fat face with goatee with little tiny eyes okay and what about for your body yeah you know veins all kinds of veins everywhere like little rivers everywhere oh i guess you learn something new every day like the black-eyed peas hey what's that this is a guitar wow because you're beautiful meg thanks to you come on let me introduce you to the president he's kind of like my boyfriend uh hang on he's still getting ready steven seagal uh uh this this fat guy yep go on ask him anything i wha how did uh why why are you so fat okay ask him about anything but his weight uh uh you act asian you look native american your name is possibly jewish what are you a fat i don't have a housekeeper and i think you're just present-day arnold schwarzenegger no i am a machine every second i'm not having sex with a housekeeper robots are killing people in the future okay i finished for the day you lied to me you do have a housekeeper let's go make a large-faced boy my god i'm not going to die what do you mean of course you are i'm not gonna die brian i'm like jim belushi i am worried about my funny brother though food fight this is tragic but will also open a door for me we now return to extreme makeover bethany frankel edition [Music] that was my pleasure too peter yeah i knew i'd get you just like danny devito got ria pearlman i don't know danny look it's either me or nobody sold really are you sure oh yeah this is nothing i've been in uncomfortable situations before like whenever i meet famous people hey what's up i'm snoop dogg you know what i'm saying i do but you don't peter you don't we're looking for a friend who's hiding out down here he's a jewish pharmacist from rhode island coral palm motel told you and here's pitbull with his newest hit tincta tonka tea tong tong tink adios goodbye amigo friends i gotta go get paid to scream make some noise in vegas oh yeah peanut butter cup doritos sausage car panini and let's crack a cadbury egg over the whole thing i'm just gonna use my spare glove compartment underwear as a napkin i can't believe randy quaid gets to eat like this every day geez brian that's more ridiculous than the theory of why tom cruise runs in all his movies wow that camera man has nice strong arms you can't catch me gay thoughts oh you're a worse parent than britney spears i know i know oh the gift basket was not worth the trip not by a long shot oh i got to get that i'll talk to you later god that must be where they do the deed i hope it's at least peaceful and humane oh boy magic eight ball is the fox network sustainable in this new streaming world [Music] no no kim what's wrong a black ball went to waste lois where the devil is everyone this place is more deserted than james gandolfini's workout room lohan over here lindsay excuse me which one was lindsay lohan's dessert fork uh i think it was that one gimme cocaine yes ah they're fine in fact i see stewie reading a book scratch and sniff lindsay lohan goes jogging oh god that's terrible oh here's a pop-up book tommy lee goes boating all right what else did i have to do today ah yes overdose in my apartment i better get home we now return to yet another indiana jones movie snakes why did it have to be snakes elderly potheads why did it have to be elderly potheads chris that's not tyrese what are you talking about they look nothing alike ludacris looks like a human peanut and tyrese looks slick he looks like a chinese black like africa and asia had sex while europe sat on a chair in the corner of the hotel room and watched ludicrous human peanut tyrese chinese black it's gonna be crazier than whatever kanye west is doing at this particular moment i'm giving this lasagna a massage while preparing to announce i'm joining isis thank you for your interest don't forget i was in that elevator with jay-z oh hey that's gonna leave a mark that's from a movie so you girls traveling with your dad here hey don't kick him muddy shoes he's got a white suit on hey look i don't know if you guys are really staying here but you can't get into the pool without a room key well i know a thing or two about performing i mean after all i was vin diesel's acting coach okay vin i like what you do in there but i want you to try it one more time like this we now return to joni loves chris brown joanie chris welcome to the party can i offer you some punch no thanks i had some in the car joni loves chris brown was taped in front of a very uncomfortable studio audience hey chris brown i just wanted to say i'm a huge fan of your music this is just gonna make me listen more oh hey ray rice would you mind pressing lobby what do you got potatoes in your ears i said press lobby this is great dad i know i'm having even more fun than when i i mean than when we went fiona apple picking dad they're all bruised and filthy yeah these might be throwing at buses apples not eating apples me mr cobain look i know you're depressed made some bad choices with women but there's another way haagen-dazs lots of haagen-dazs let's see if it worked here we go ha you're still alive you fat i haven't seen this much denial since john travolta married kelly preston john do you take kelly to be your wife i totally do i mean yeah yes absolutely and i'm gonna do stuff to it too like touch her yeah touch her and kiss her and touch your penis i mean no not that wow it looks like michael jackson's coming right at me a hurricane oh my god peter's out there don't worry lois peter's good at getting out of trouble just like kobe bryant we want the truth kobe did you rape her what were we talking about hey some of our greatest actors started in news like sean penn today's weather calls for uh breezy skies and sun and there's gonna be a get that camera out of my face oh oh wait we gotta get you to the hospital ah you're hideous who did this to you oh oh where my keys where's my keys where are my keys peter what about babs forget about yourself for a second carter look what has happened to jonathan lipnicki oh yeah no you you're you're right you should probably take care of that oh that's the coolest george clooney there is hi george clooney second worst batman peter griffin second best homer you may have heard i'm also known for my practical jokes on the set one time i nailed nora dunn in the head with an apple that that's hilarious cause you're handsome otherwise you're just some dick who hit a lady and you you're done clean out your locker kicked out i'm totally screwed like those poor guys who had to come up with a new ad campaign for subway hey i'm mike i like sandwiches and people my own age subway please don't think of pedophilia now now [Music] so you