Family Guy Roasting Every Woman Compilation

peter you're not still friends with that idiot after what he did well i mean that may be a little harsh i'm not gonna avoid peter like the drunk chick at a party [Music] who wants to go swimming oh this song is about me well it hasn't been easy between doing the laundry and vacuuming i barely had time to put on a nice sweater and clasp a cup of tea with two hands and now to tie this sweater around my waist and walk around the neighborhood hang on i'll be right back lois i'm just going across the street peter you can't keep using cleveland's bathroom oh my god yes i can cleveland's bathroom is the greatest discovery since fat women discovered diet coke now i can eat anything it's just complicated that's all no brenda it's not complicated trying to get a straight answer out of a 23 year old girl is complicated so do you want to go out sometime out like go out or hang out or just do something like a date like a date date or like a date both i guess yeah sure maybe i don't know yes no here's the first three digits of my phone number email me boy this is fun huh except for the fact we gotta sit next to that woman who came with her co-workers huh aren't we all pals i work at the office this is empowering maybe i'll get a dance huh you guys are probably gonna be talking about this forever a woman who's so cool with all of this jackpot well it's probably the right move anyway those girls seem kind of annoying look at them over there taking a group picture together i love you i love you we're all such good friends you can tell by the way we're pressing our faces together and that's where fat girls come from so we were supposed to go to the library to wipe boogers in fancy books i like to wipe mine in bronte novels it's like a time bomb to gross out lonely chicks oh heathcliff oh come on i want so little oh wow you are definitely not afraid of dessert you know i wish i were secure enough to throw on any old thing and call it an outfit come on you have so much body confidence i mean who wouldn't with those strong legs so muscular hey i like your tie thanks [Music] peter why don't you just sit in that booth over there oh man that's where the after work secretaries sit what about mr jemmerson is he single i i i don't know what about mr adelaide is he single i don't know who that is well who do you know who is single uh i'm assuming you oh hey look cake uh excuse me can i get directions to the providence civic center [Music] [Applause] do you like cake yes do you like my ass yes do you want to eat cake off my ass what kind of cake angel food cake well rusty looks like we're gonna eat our way out of another jam i gotta know if we should take 24 or 4.95 hang on exit's coming up half a mile oh you'd think i could find it yeah yeah i would i would okay i'm taking 4.95 here it is it says take 24 to 128. women we've spent decades fighting for our right to vote so when you go to those booths and cast your ballot remember warren g harding is way the cutest and then we have a chocolate chocolate cake that's infused with chocolate served with chocolate ice cream and a molten chocolate topping we'll have one of those with four spoons more like four of those with one spoon for me oh could i just try a little sample oh i'm so bad i'm sure you gonna buy a cookie this time oh i better just stick with the sample i'm so bad but at least i know i'm bad so that makes me a little less bad or worse that was the right thing to do peter hey tyler are you on your way to algebra yeah i'll see you there [Music] you're awful the preceding joke was brought to you by men men we don't know what we did 911 changed everything brian 911 changed everything peter you didn't even know what 911 was until 2004. that's not true brian i remember 9 11. must have been a woman pilot there come on guys we don't have to make such a big thing about it it's not like i'm a woman who's about to turn 30. you guys i don't care what we do for my birthday as long as it lasts the whole week and it's very expensive and inconvenient for all my friends oh and i'm gonna dress like a [ __ ] and be rude to everyone for no reason but maya i don't care that your dad's dying we're all going to montreal for the week not like 37 year old woman on a blind date fun oh so what if you forgot your wallet i'll pay i'm gonna pay for us you'll get it next time yeah so you were in prison right killed a man oh i'm sure it was in self-defense no i just felt like killing ah oh you tell the best stories me and my three eggs are having the best time okay so i know you're a harmonica but right now you're a 40 year old woman with a good body in a hotel pool hey everybody look at me i work out seven days a week for these five minutes your attention is going to keep me from swallowing a bottle of pills you listen to me you son of a [ __ ] i've got one thing in this lifetime one thing you always say i never do anything around here yeah i like saying that more than i like you doing things dad i got the rest from the car chris ron you were right she didn't appreciate it oh crap ow that's right i do groceries yeah mom you get crazy when you're pregnant [Music] peter take off that belt the buckle smells like acid our society is doomed people and technology are a bad match just like moms and radiohead oh no no no this isn't music no i don't like this david no that's enough no david i don't like that no well it's a nice apartment you have is this your dog yes isn't he the cutest little cutie woody look how cute he is yes he's very cute yes he's cute yes he's cute cute cute look at him look at him look at him okay look at it look at that face come on look at that face you look at him look at that face well we don't need a map brian i got us a gpms machine go up what do you think just go up sorry okay can everyone just stop freaking out and just give me like two minutes god everyone's always yelling at me when all the questions all right well maybe we'll turn you on later and see how you feel hello oh jeez it's it's a girl may i speak to the man of the house this is the woman of the house and there is no man living here no wait what is i how you paying for this phone i'm a lawyer oh i see and are you in your little courthouse right now representing barbie hey that was a pleasant surprise you know like when a woman in a porsche cayenne isn't a complete [ __ ] huh well i did not expect that i wasn't telling you to go i was trying to smell my own fart peter you left the flap open like a thousand degrees in here lois close the tent now it's freezing headline woman cold why do women have boobs so you got something to look at while you're talking to him [Music] so you got something to look at while you're talking to him [Music] so you got you you uh you wanted to see me mr weed irrational and emotionally fragile by nature female co-workers are a peculiar animal they are very insecure about their appearance be sure to tell them how good they look every day even if they're homely and unkempt you're doing a great job muriel and you're prettier than mamie vandoren god this place officially sucks worse than the wnba and at the top of the second half it's 16 to nine easton leads the scoring with four and that's why she commands seven thousand dollars a year these gals sure do make it look difficult but is having this minor skill worth being so unattractive that's for the fan to decide yay barry was over last night and don't tell me he left the toilet seat up oh i ran into frank it's funny he fought in vietnam he's an exorcist but there is one thing that terrifies him commitment oh midge you're my third best friend in the whole world third who are the first two ben and jerry now may olin now [Music] so [Music] again

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