Filling Your Love Tank with Dr James Dobson’s Family Talk 4252018

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James Dobson org or call eight seven seven seven three two six eight two five [Music] today on Family Talk the book of Ephesians is filled with instructions for husbands to earnestly love their wives as Christ loved the church that there's more to marital love than just romance men are responsible for caring for every aspect of their wives well-being and one of the problems husbands deal with is loving their wives in the way that wives personally need to be loved and appreciated welcome to family talk with your host psychologist and best-selling author dr. James Dobson I'm Roger Marsh filling in for dr. Dobson today and you're about to hear from pastor and comedian dr. Dennis Swanberg raised in Texas dr. Swanberg received his bachelor's degree from Baylor University and completed his master's of Divinity and doctorate in ministry from southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary he has spoken to countless organizations and ministries around the country and is the author of nine best-selling books on today's broadcast dr. Dennis Swanberg will use the analogy of filling up a car's gas tank to illustrate how husbands are to properly satisfy their wives emotional physical and spiritual needs let's listen now to a talk that he gave at the renewing the heart conference some time ago on this edition of dr. James Dobson Family Talk [Music] alright man I tell you what I'm in an arena like this and the echo effect into everything makes me want to just break in the Billy Graham I just feel like preaching like belly and want to preach and preach and preach and preach and preach forever and ever and ever I love to say forever and actually what I'm doing right now is letting these sound men get used to me moving around and then they'll get it together God the blessing will enjoy now I tell you what I it's good to be back in Texas born in Austin Texas - Floyd Leon and Pauline Bernadine and I don't know where my mama is Pauline Bernardin but wherever you are Pauline Bernardin you need to get an usher to bring you up and right down here I want you sitting down here so an usher bring Pauline Bernardin down here close wherever she is now the number one little love and my life is my honey love my little woman Laura my sugar babe my woman I'm her man I said baby do I look like a hunk she said you're more of a chunk that'll bless you Thank You mafia baby I love my wife I'm a little honey love I do but ladies y'all know this I must share this sometime my little honey irritates me she does she irritates I mean I love her I give him a life far but she I don't know if we have her here at eight y'all but y'all irritate us for instance I'll come in off the road you know traveling here all the time in there and I come home I call home first from the airport check out the temperature of the home I'll call and she'll say hello you know just perky perky hello hey baby big salon big Swan huh everything okay at home well you might want to talk to Chad when you get home is he nearby ho don't Chad it's your father and you know these 16 year olds Oh speak clearly son mama ain't happy she ain't happy nobody's happy so now I'll be home in 15 minutes and when I get home she's gonna be happy do you hear me happy in Jesus I don't care if you have to surrender to foreign missions she'll be happy then going for five days I won't mama had to happen Big Daddy's coming home I want a happy woman so I get home and I like to go out and eat we go out to eat you know I said hey we ain't we quaint heating up this kitchen baby look not that a microwave can heat that thing better not go that but we're getting that suburban I had to get her a suburban what do you want you women in Texas especially y'all go through something you got to have a stubborn you want to suburb it's the Texas Cadillac you know oh she had to have a suburban so I get home and we get in the car and we were get in the car to go out to eat my daddy floridly on 6 to 220 in his prime I always told me check your gauges check your gauges every 30 seconds when you drive check your gauges check your gauges he's in the National Guard in Austin Texas 21 years 36th Infantry Division retired as a major he's a chicken gauges check the gauges we always took her gauges every 30 seconds on the convoy well here I am 44 and it's bred into you now I checked my gauges about every 40 seconds I can't help it you know you I'm gonna come to North Florida so every day of my life we're driving along I check the gauge worse the gauge owning and that's what air takes me ladies are you listening to come on in and I've been gone five six days I shouldn't have done this but I said I just lost it good night honey look can you fill the car up with gas maybe when you get to a half tank fill it up or a water tank good night I'm gonna be on the road somewhere speaking somewhere you're gonna be on the side of the road run out of gas someone's going to attack your kill you be in the newspaper speaker entertainers live dead on the side of the road fill it up with gas good not I knew I went too far when she said is there anything else you want to complain about I'd try okay I try and you go all across the country and you make your people I haven't that's when I put it in reverse and start backing off I'm sorry but don't worry about I feel up against well ok I try ok if you don't worry don't worry about don't worry about it so what I have learned yes I'm when I get home I hug folks and then I go get in the suburban I take to the gas station fill it up it is a ministry it is a ministry to fill up her gas tank when that gas tank is full my little woman I mean she can go everywhere I mean she puts the pedal to the metal she hooks him she can go here there yonder this mall and that mulch she has a ministry to them house I mean when she puts her foot on the foot feet it's like Ross Perot saying that's a mega sucking sound I had ever heard that gas is being sucked down through those gates I mean the Sikhs in Iran are going yes yeah yeah oh they love it when my wife drives I mean he's a fool Oh I mean she puts it on likewise she's got another tank it's called the emotional love tank you've heard about dr. Dobson's he's spoken about it many times Gary Smalley but anyhow she she operates also emotionally on a fuel tank and you all do too and everyone uses a different fuel you know some use diesel so Merlot LED some are just you know I have to have this additive in that and so there's all these many different fuels one of the fuels is humor or not I like the fuel of humor can operate well on that and and some of y'all like to laugh you're already in a good mood to laugh huh my mom and daddy Pauline Bernardin and florid Leon found out early on that their child had a problem but humor that's a that's a fuel that's that's sort of like a language now the Apostle Paul he was really good about it wasn't a turret if you got your Bible first Corinthians 13 now something y'all have it memorized it's the love chapter when I was a pastor for 20-something years they'd always wanted me to read this love chapter at weddings how to have these mamas come out and say I want you to read chapter 13 and look at my son-in-law right in the face but but the Apostle Paul he was pretty sharp when he said love is patient love is kind but he doesn't stop there now for some of y'all that'd be fine patience well I just wish my husband would be more some of you like kindness he is rough as a cob if he could just be sensitive to me well but there's more he said love is not jealous love does not brag it's not arrogant does not act unbecomingly it does not seek its own is not provoked does not take into account a wrong suffered does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things love never fails and then that beautiful the Apostle Paul he knew what was going on he was sharp he knew their language he knew their fuel tank he knew their emotions and one of those is humor dr. Dobson told me some years ago is in Swan you need to add that he said humorous it's important some people like to laugh they need to laugh loosen up don't take themselves so seriously take God's ears but don't take yourself so serious now some of you your your your field type your octane maybe words I'm worried the gift of gab I talk all the time I'm in the 10% of men that talk constantly my wife's in the 10% of women that don't talk constantly that's why I guess God got us together when we do marriage enrichment things I go with the women she goes with the me I guess that's why I'm here today I don't but I'm worried now some of your men you wish they would be wordy and talk to you and tell you things like I love you I've pastored these old boys in Texas that's like brotherliness I told her when we got married you know the boy I mean I'm talking the man with the big tummy and a short tie you know what I thought brother Dean eats I told her when we got married and some of them their pants even curled over I paid her when we got married that I loved her told her if ever change my mind I'd let her know if someone likes words give them words everybody's got a different fuel and I tell you what when you love your loved one in there with their fuel with their language if you understand their love tank I guarantee you that if you will love them in their language their fuel it just fills them up to overflowing the feel good about life they just come busting out all over but most of the time I love my wife and my boys and with my fuel instead of theirs and oh that's where I've got to change you see that Jesus Christ is our perfect example he threw aside his rights as God and became a man and dwelt among us and he says to you and me I love you I love you he orchestrates things in your life to say I love you big time I love you and as he does that then when we receive his love into our life we receive him then we're able to love is we've been loved but we'll never be able to love our loved ones until we allow him to love us but when we allow him to come in and love us then we are able to begin loving others like he loves and I tell you the beauty about it is then people are more likely to reciprocate and love you in your with your fuel with your language than ever before let me give you a quick illustration here my little mama my little mama Pauline Bernie and I love her and I remember I remember when I went to Baylor University I went to Baylor and I we were going there to Baylor I thought it was you know a school I was going as a church school I wanted to go to a state school you know party party Harty boogy boogy Woogy you know build a testimony but anyhow but while I was there I don't mind telling you I got a little homesick but but a pastor there Marshall Edwards and his wife Doris they had just come to Waco from Austin I had known them in Austin they had been chaplain of our high school football team and so when they moved to Waco I was so glad I knew somebody and then that spring they invited a bunch of us Austin kids to come out and eat supper so we went out there to eat Doris is a great cook and we're on the back porch and she comes out there and she says okay dinner is about to be served and she looked at Allen and said Allen what's your favorite meat dish and he said Meat Loaf Meat Loaf we had so many crackers and iers growing up I just never got any meat but he loved meatloaf she said I've got meatloaf you got meatloaf all right she said I called your mother you called my mom yeah and she said you love meatloaf so I made you meatloaf with her recipe all right all right men Doris looked at Sheri DuBose and said sherry what's your favorite dessert she said well I like that chocolate meringue with the little sweat beads on top of it she said I've got it you've got that I called your mother you come my mama and and I got your grandma's recipe Oh Oh sweat leads her own great and she went to everybody and came to me last because I was sore like the son of in their ministry she came to me she said Dennis what's your favorite dish of all dishes I knew she wouldn't get it of all dishes meat dishes dessert dishes I'd never told him a mama little Pauline burn a day I started cocky I said I love cream peas cream paste green peas I'll never forget what Doris said Dennis I've got cream peas I said you've got cream piece she said I called your mother who call my mama and she said of all the foods you love cream peas the most and I'll always remember that it felt so good to be loved with my kind of fuel creepies she knew me and I hate to say it but I have no idea what my mama's favorite food dish is I think she likes everything but she knows mine listen to me people is your love tank full or are you loving on empty is your love tank full or are you loving and living on entity oh I know the Lord fills us but he likes to use spiritual energized flesh to love our loved ones speak their language fill them with their fuel you know it's been a long time coming I speak all over the country and I have my own little television show swans place I hope you'll watch that but you know my mom and dad don't get to be with me too often but I want right now to do something for my mother that uh that I think is special and so I want my mama to come up here on the stage with me whether you like it or not mom and I want the boys to play that little thing I worked up for you because I don't think I can do this I love my little mama Pauline Bernadine that's right Pauline Bernadine not a one another one like her in the whole world one in a million take it back probably one in ten million no no I don't think there's another one like her my little mama was it just yesterday that your children were out in the yard at play you remember mom over on hemlock Street and you stood at the door with your apron on watching this all tumble out there on the lawn I want to say thanks for the years now going by for I'm no longer a little child just knee-high and I appreciate all that you've gone through and doing what to me seemed so easy for you thanks for cooking those cream peas cleaning setting the tone where a boy can feel so secure in his own when I was just a little thing you used to call Maul my fears enjoyed my excitement and yes you even dried my tears you were my nurse when I was sick in bed and intha laid them all over on the spread you put up with me and my old buddies when I was in my teens watched my ballgames encouraged my dreams now that I'm older I recall your sweet face across the dinner table his dad would say grace the smile you smiled then today is just the same crinkling your eyes when you call my name I know much more than I knew as a child and thank the Lord for my little and Mama Pauline Bernadine sweet little smile for her tender heart for her godly walk that's right that's more than words have so wisely told my little mama though I'm now a man grown with a wonderful wife and two boys of my own only you Pauline Bernadine and not another can ever be to me what you are my mother I love you mom thank you is your love cool mama what a heartwarming end to today's program we hope you've enjoyed and appreciated hearing dr. Dennis Swanberg and what he shared on this edition of dr. James Dobson 's Family Talk go to the broadcast page at dr. James Dobson org to learn more about dr. Swann Berg's ministry you can also get information on how to order a copy of his book is your love tank full that's dr. James Dobson org and then click on to the broadcast tab while you're on our website scroll through the helpful books CDs DVDs and much more under our resources tab we have a great collection of materials on navigating the ups and downs of marriage parenting strong-willed children and instilling a godly legacy to the next generation so take advantage of dr. Dobson's years of experience and expertise by going online now to dr. James Dobson org and clicking on to the resources tab here at Family Talk we love hearing how our ministry is impacting you and your family so if you have a comment about today's program or if you'd like to pass along a broadcast suggestion call our listener feedback line toll-free at 844 eight to three two six six nine once you're connected with us you'll have up to two minutes to share a testimony or tell us what you appreciate about our ministry again the number for family talks listener feedback line is eight four four eight two three two six six nine this is Roger Marsh thanking you for tuning in today and for your continued support of this ministry be sure to join us again tomorrow to hear an amazing story of miraculous healing from Barry and Karen McGuire you will not want to miss that conversation next time on dr. James Dobson Family Talk Family Talk is not associated with focus on the family one of the great myths about romantic love is that it's sort of a biochemical condition that inevitably lasts a lifetime in reality love even when it's genuine is a very fragile commodity like one popular song proclaims love really is a lot like a rose it must be very carefully maintained and protected if it's going to survive when a husband or wife works seven days a week when there's no time for romantic activity when they forget how to talk to each other then love can die during the early days of my marriage to my wife Shirley I was working full-time trying to finish a doctorate at the University of Southern California Shirley was teaching school and trying to maintain our little home I can still remember clearly the evening I realized what this busy lifestyle was doing to our relationship we still loved each other but it's just been too long since we had felt that spirit of warmth and closeness I pushed aside my textbooks that night and we went for a long walk the following semester I carried a very light load in school and I postponed my academic goals so as to preserve my marriage where does your marriage rank on your hierarchy of values does it get choked out by the weeds and stray branches of your busy schedule or is it a rare rose of great worth to be preserved and gently tended maybe it's time to do some marital gardening here more at dr. James Dobson org hi this is dr. Tim Clinton thanks for listening to Family Talk if you're hurting you got troubles in your life going through deep waters we'd like to talk with you you can call us toll free right now eight seven seven seven three to six eight to five that number again toll-free eight seven seven seven three to six eight two five or reaches from our website at dr. James Dobson o RG we're here to help you [Music]