High Spirits 1988

[Music] [Music] McGregor I have seen you fall in the guards of the mortgage payment on Castle Plunkett unfortunately still delay by thought seem to be our engine host response dear sir I must once again remind you my first name is not thicker and more is my last name [Music] fuck no I was not given a middle name but had I been I feel certain my mother would not have chosen the lowlife shit-for-brains peckerhead will you obviously know a side of mother I have been happily shelter from nevertheless I marvel at your colorfully creative ever sell American colloquialisms which flows so trippingly from your razor like tons the hotel is in tip-top condition the renovations are proceeding at of what o'clock why shouldn't I bother get off the line turning the castle into a theme park irish world she was an interesting notion in malleable what is malleable I see you want to move the castle to Malibu which I am to presume lies on the western corner of those United States mr. Brogan if I cannot send your payment how on earth do you expect to transport an entire castle across the sea the number of stamps alone is mind-boggling but I can assure you mr. bilder that if it goes on much longer I will take this cheque which I am holy and and personally ferry it across the water to England and mail it to you myself that's how much I care postal strike language is necessary mr. Brogan I understand [Music] so what you're saying is that if I don't come up with the money in three weeks you will foreclose and take over Castle Plunkett having heard of the quality of Mercy mr. burden now you haven't read your Shakespeare mr. person for five [Music] [Music] this is not easy it is very very difficult has been dead for a decade what about your grandmama how do you think they feel smaller grandmother is dead so very well I apologize for fundly to the ghosts of my ancestors for making a mess of the ancestral home I'm gonna help you hmm how many ghosts are there here well there's great auntie nan and uncle Toby and that nice Elizabethan lady and the nan who was walled into the closet and oliver's bastard who never came out of the library mm-hmm what a wonderful idea what darling ghosts go [Music] tourist attraction a beautiful Irish countryside lol this parcel contains for Google's justice long- beasties intend to come up in the night then the other places its revolving revolting spinning promises a good night's sleep oh bloody ghost here I know but there will be wheeling vapor yes mr. Wilson accommodations are strictly modern insofar as renovation to be consistent with maintaining the end planting ambience will cost the Plunkett and involved [Music] high on a wire would be magnificent a supplying palm sheet selective dam some fungus down there ghosts make such things to exist thank you [Music] [Music] anybody get down there only the car payment but the shagging hell are you doing up there genius Georgina's just - where - there [Music] and the bloody feet at the rear one more time Ready Steady Go [Music] nobody's doing so you champagne to us to Ireland your homeland Loch Ness monster guys in skirts Scotland Jack even now you're trying to drown next thing you know you want to have sex oh shit I suppose sex is out of the question the tax on the hearts that you should either hang in the tree thank you punch to go home just give me the hair back [Music] lazy on our left we have the Hockman foghorns of all grizzly inclusive more than any cars piled on the monocular mountains and Allegiant ring we have children we [Music] come to the Brogan Banshee whale and all from our commentators are coming to show the bodies [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] the things I don't feel deeply appreciated [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] ladies gentlemen children there to be a trifle moist good evening boys young lady mr. Crawford mrs. bauford mrs. clay mr. Plunkett what is this white in any place that would be a lovely fighting with bread crumbs and the wedding amateur boils whitey so what's whiting vapor stuff that my dear young Juan will be fighting Steve and what is this one in Bordeaux very witty very witty okay mommy you've gotta share these boys I'm afraid there are no ghosts here Oh a cynic mr. clay Oh a parapsychologist mr. Plunkett Duke University apparel what a parapsychologist an expert in ghosts give the parapsychologist a drink a tea waiking beast madam thank you and for your father the whiting beast so I was seeing this guy and he's a devil worshiper right well he's he's a hairdresser really but he devil worship so on the side when we book this dumb tour cuz you know he likes ghost court says dead gerbils that kind of thing and he ran off with this Buddhist monk I mean how was I supposed to know he was gay so what about you are you gay - no but I'm chaste just kidding trick question so what are you doing here well I I thought I'd take a vacation here in the in the ILA Saints before take my final vows a sort of spiritual treatment retreat yeah well I've kind of taken a vow myself I've sworn off men for a while at least but you're not a priest yet oh not yet well here's to keeping our vows mr. Puckett was that very pungent my great great great great great great grand cousin she died right here in castle blanket two hundred years ago she couldn't take the whiting either 11e is out of place mrs. bauford she was murdered on her wedding night by the hand of her newly wedded husband [Music] I've seen [Music] well not just leave you both here I get the change fire lovely music [Music] change far [Music] honey everybody sing [Music] it's beautiful - beautiful [Applause] [Music] full moon has risen above Oakland for those who do with nervous disposition to do well to protect ourselves lock the windows bolt your doors say your path for tonight they may be walking abroad before the pain the Banshees and the Pocock's good night see well if you can [Music] [Applause] Thanks ready they all go don't ask they might come back well if there are any ghosts in this castle I hope to god they call a better show than this one it's pretty scary huh kids didn't you see the night round Elm Street right these two hazy punchy type Julia where's my bandages because it's hard to get a significant CR reading when there is no observed deviation to a while be measured I'm afraid that this is gonna be the most pitiful scam no dumb Malky scare me the Noddy you bought me two duty-free honey oh thanks for their Oh Texas would you expected random population standard deviation would need to receive two point three three four to be conceived as significant here we have a very impressive sight indeed it's the winning pair of her bull owned by mr. Lynch of topic re and he's won the competition for the third year in a row mind you and the competition we saw today was of a very high quality indeed and the judges had a very difficult task of course these days the judges emphasize grooming whether it be this morning excuse me I don't believe in ghosts [Music] wait wait come down Koran that you can stop it now because really I'm not scared [Music] [Applause] [Music] one more time I think we have to give the window to the top okay little jobs [Music] [Music] okay you guys you are doing bed in three seconds you are grounded but we haven't seen a ghost yeah I'm not whistling Dixie [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] I saw an angel change in humidity in you work turn come to me bugbear make me a woman my love oh that's the most pathetic display that I've ever seen what 45 degrees semi silver mirror now aimin for Jeff what are you doing I smell something burning Jack [Music] how many times do I have to tell you know I'm innocent so we are not making love just for sex I have ever heard if I say I'm too tired that I'm too tired thank you very much jack now I need to take two more value [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] you couldn't check and kiss me maybe if we made love more often you wouldn't need your stupid pills do not take that value Sharon do not take that value would you listen to me for watching your life shut please [Music] it's very fuzzy [Music] [Music] [Music] as the brochures Hess is the unpredictability of spirits it causes problems I would like to apologize for any minor inconvenience this is the most pitiful supernatural sham that I've ever encountered will get better we are leaving tomorrow morning chaps just go sit at the time history dude couldn't me look on tonight as kind of justice you're finished Plunkett I am going to personally suppose this pathetic fraud I ask people like you March maybe Jim Brogan you give us another chance Jim Brogan Jack what's your broom good yeah yeah he has the mortgage on the face and we've only got two weeks left and Betty's going to throw us out Jack I'm very tired I'd like to go to bed now just right now just wait a minute what's going on here mr. pointy shall we tell the lie everyone lies once in a while so katie isn't a ghost and Julia still has her head on and Eamonn isn't a mummy and the castle isn't warranted but what of that but you have to ask yourselves is why did we do it we did it because we love this place every little worm-eaten brick every little rotting milk and cranny why should you Americans care if I lose my home the villages lose their only means of employment by cameras or plugin what I care Jim broman is my father-in-law so I'm involved in this your Jen broken start yes my name's Brogan I might as well tell you that there won't be any extensions of your mortgage me not after tonight's performance and a few losses daddy asked me to check it out I mean this ghost business was too ridiculous you came to sabotage us no no no perfectly all right all by yourself I didn't have to lift a finger sure you coming look I I don't say I mean I mean I didn't know I didn't my Ford is worth I think this place is great you're the ghost in the bedroom you were the the Banshee on the luggage rack Sharon Sharon daddy wants this place he's always wanted it he was born here he hates the Plunkett why why not daddy hates most people so you lied to me you used our second honeymoon for daddy Jack it's business it's business obviously a word you're not familiar with where are you going I don't want you to lose your castle that's my father - son of a bitch oh my dear father you're too kind he's an unlovely combination of a son of a bitch under wraps and knackers washing rat snackers so now the Holy Trinity of a muckraker gobshite and furs map has a debt in a world would you like a drink [Music] [Music] [Applause] don't look at the good size translators of this two sizes to size double storage cursing thank you milk of human kindness charity three little words every once in a while doesn't cost anything I love you oh shit wrong rooms the rooms not this nice [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] this is so disgusting marry mara [Music] shouldn't let the liner lips Oh God what are they done you killed I told you you killed us Oh [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh god what am I done what have I done [Music] wait a minute this is an act [Music] so that [Music] how can I thank you for for yourself business I [Applause] [Music] how can I thank you how can I thank you thank you don't go what do you have to go [Music] Sharon nothing I'm going crazy I got a no did you did you ever love me let's see if those pills really work yeah you got a good life [Music] Oh God [Music] oh darling good morning living here well our son is an idiot we've known that for years haven't we darling well this time he has surpassed himself the ghosts are furious why but they've heard that that gem Brogan fella was going to move the castle development sunshine and all those movie stars no respectable ghost would live in California besides the Irish what would they do there oh if only I hadn't died none of this would ever have happened where you did die didn't you darling so what are we gonna do about it out of my hands they won't listen to me they're going to give those Americans exactly what they came here serving right I'm dead so this is what I feel sorry like a hangover do Yanks me as long as I'm dead I might as well tell you you've got all the warmth of a penguin on an iceberg yeah you're a dwarf yeah you better clean those choppers real good so I can chew up the next jerk that comes along huh [Music] I'm not dead no but if I were you I wouldn't make any long-range plans great Jack now I've got a massive migraine coming on my b-complex level is rock-bottom sure but let me see that sure I see okay got tapped yeah yeah sure you took the valiant wrong pills what's have your breakfast at the buy some damn fish house the nice change I said this place is a nightmare daddy of course I sound strange are you depressed everybody hates me last night Jack slept on the floor and when he woke up he said he was dead and I was are you what do you think that I'm colder than ice you don't tell my wife [Music] can you die your real ghost [Music] I have to thank you for what you did last night there was nothing what I do he gave me my first moment of peace in there two hundred years I'll be in your debt for eternity sir it was nothing was nothing and you don't have to call me sir uh Jack Jack thank you sorry jack it's on me okay lovely dress my wedding dress today is my wedding day tonight he'll murder me you murdered every night every night until last night what about tonight it depends on you your love broke the chain cross the bomb oh my god hold on you can't depend on me nobody could depend on me my wife would never understand I can't love them hold Mary we hardly know each other okay look I gotta go I just look you don't want to forget me [Music] [Music] so the snakes weren't driven out of Ireland [Music] to die to Sleep No More or am i asleep to say we are there is a God [Music] hey would your name conceivably be honest countless deepest regrets the phones are dead storm must have knocked her house together Obama might be in the becoming one be happy sorry mr. t further the walk into town in this suit of armor and spend the night in this paper and just spend one more second in this hellhole [Applause] [Music] [Music] Oh yes I think we could stay one more night [Music] please release me my heart sweet mother Mary this ain't pretty Mary please don't let me marry him please release very slowly tomorrow Mary Mary sweet Jesus what happened to you ran into a little wind oh dear that would be the spirits in the castle sorry what are you doing I'm praying to Saint Brigid to release me from the marriage vows but this is too psychotic for me I mean look for a good nervous breakdown is anybody really but but this is too much I mean yesterday my marriage collapses then I staple goes from being murdered by another ghost now if you think about it it makes no sense at all then I fly through the air entry and then Ronaldo the talking horse here leads me to to the most beautiful ghost I've never seen am I last night when you took Martin sword in my stead you broke the curse a chain that has bound me for 200 years what curse a chain me marriage to Martin Brogan was arranged by my father I did not love him he had once and his feet stink and my wedding night I refused to be hooked by him touched Oh Tubbs I get it go on go on go on he thought I loved another though I did not and in a jealous fury he did me to death now every day for me is the same if I get murdered one more time I'll scream want to be a ghost we are which we are so uh this Marty stank huh I and he squished he squished oh he squished could you love a man who who bailed but didn't squish I could love you sir Jack if you loved me the miracle could happen I can't I can't I cannot do this I am married ha then you don't know I didn't say that and I am doomed forever even now martin dons his garments sharpens his knife goodbye sir Jack look you're a ghost I'm an American it would never work out Sita Mary look I don't want you to get murdered again I don't it's just that my wife she found out you murder me [Music] jack is that you [Music] I don't know what happened to me that I thought I've got pains all over my body could you rub my back we'll go on Jack a lot bye before watch me Oh see June [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] every night he's pretty honey we gotta talk are you okay honey do I look okay not really [Music] what are you doing check this place out it smells very wrong here yes it does it it smells like burnt rubber yeah yeah that's me you believe this is only for channels cables must not flow there's no cable this is it it's not sorry this place sucks the big one you horrible little children victory is a big commitment you know it's a long time you gotta take things one step at a time that's the key you love her don't you yeah I guess I do right no problem man she's a ghost she's dead gotta live how do you know this I'm married to one thank you join us for a drink yeah I could use the trick yeah oh dear Lord I do beseech thee to help me in this my hour of need o cleanse me of these impure thoughts I have for this woman and [Music] [Music] oh come on [Music] oh I get the message the other Tony brother tell me brother tell me are you alright brother Tony [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] Tony what are they eating in the poor Oh Lord works in mysterious ways yeah but it can't bring the dead back to life oh yes it can oh no Hallows Eve Halloween yes tomorrow yes when the spirit moves and the flesh is willing and the juices flow and scalloping is ma what's up it's a girls term but it's dangerous you mustn't go truth [Music] [Music] [Applause] whom we were expecting get this fake ghost one thing this is entirely different isn't it is that something wrong with our rules live spirits here how do you explain this the weather oh come off it will you don't you understand he wants us here he knows it's the only way you can keep this dump I don't know about the rest of you but plump it you haven't fooled me at all I I've been fooled here I've been selling this to me a ghost may not talk with a human so this means a ghost cannot make love with a human being oh my god Mary who's Mary oh she's a woman she's a ghost Oh ghost uh she's someone I care about it I it's funny how you can care I think I'm falling don't stand there and tell me that you're having an affair with a god damn oh yeah we problems relationship we're having problems in our relationship Mary Mary wait wait Mary I love you I know that you do when did you know that the minute I saw you the minute I knew I loved you but your love must be true must withstand all obstacles that was a dirty trick Muttley hey hey kicking me remember okay are you gonna stab your wife's or Pig sure that's no big thing I do it every night I suppose watching other miss Weis in the bathtub is no big deal even nice to be stopped before - no no no not again she's your wavy vixen aren't you you know it's about yourself what's scalping scalping this is skipping [Music] that's nasty it was a nice house nice it's very free there is very nice hold on Barry wait a minute you can't just scalp me and leave me can't help it scalloping takes a lot out of you look Mary but I'll be in the chamber midnight tomorrow [Music] so what's wrong with America desperate to leave the next night can't get rid of them one day they take the fighting the next day they have to haggle all five courses when you break your back to give them the ghosts who thought they wanted they stream at you I'm a new throw the towel in they scream even louder they see spooks everywhere spooks in the bathroom spooks under the bed though they know the joke is that [Music] what is going on here aimin why our chance of masonry floating about Oh [Music] mr. poppy mr. Plunkett teach us some some people want to have a wallet would you Peter coming Gilles and her sister half-sister not to mention another right to be considering what you have done to our ancestral home do you really think you could get away from me leave me alone you're dead not so dead I can't see what a numbskull you are Oh fine call me names that's so easy well for God's sake little section what did you ever give me this place for you knew I wasn't incompetent all I wanted to be was happily useless you made me miserably useless believe me this place just like that most people give some warning or no permitir senility angina gout bedridden for years but not you alone healthy as a No go to pop off one day in the orchard important not a god damn word not a whisper did never occur to you that I might need some advice I never thought to do those it's too dirty if your daddy [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh sorry Peter they will be back tonight it is all colors you see anything just ignored it all right completely just pretended it didn't happen I don't hear anything dude no no don't you just love [Music] Oh for you I missed my wedding for the first time in years that's how much you wanted not sure I know I'm a ghost on a murderer but forget about all that listen tonight's All Hallows Eve the one night near then I turn to flesh what do you say to a wee bit of scale for me at least tell me your name Wow oh really after the best pierogies from here - voluntary come on what do you say let's give it a twirl a drop dead [Applause] he who temps with the spirit vines only the grave but the virtuous heart true love will save he who tups with the spirit finds only the grave delivers his heart to level safe [Music] [Music] [Music] relax everybody take it easy the wall coming your mom would they see the don't drink wisdom who spirits oh that would I know the Irish Winston he says the Irish was through don't not what who they are don't a well yeah dog shagging no do you look look it may be no more than a local disturbance an extra planner ether a tummy follows supernatural belts you know nothing about Danny drinks all around ignore it no Hawaiians our activism now [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] it's a bloody good crew be ignored and huh [Music] love [Music] oh god you're real [Music] having fun did we just talk no but it's not too far us right right hey how about some champagne huh little champagne to get our mind off the old you know what hey whoa usually messy stuff drink to me only with thine eyes and I would relate with mine I leave a kiss within the cup and die not ask for a wife that was so beautiful who wrote it Ben Jonson oh you know whenever I hear Ben's material it just makes me think about you know what I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm really sorry well anything to keep our minds huh you know what right I'll quote there ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl to make me act so funny make me spend my money makes me feel real loose like a longneck goose that I've done Oh baby that's all what I like that's all who wrote that the Big Bopper maybe you know him he's dead too I hid it on everyone stay behind me [Music] Sir Jack I mean me curse yeah that's nothing I'm really drunk no I mustn't right we should just be friends [Applause] go [Applause] [Music] [Applause] beautiful not as beautiful as you I formally declare this a free zone [Applause] [Music] oh no I'm not happy I'm not telling me I mean this is somewhere between 20 up in the top right [Music] oh god that's my jacket fuck should be happy where's jack we must okay my aunt is right well that's nice yeah stop don't listen to Jack God Oh oh no check remember our promise [Music] [Music] [Music] actually you look very like my bottle Jesus lord please save this beautiful creature from these demons if a life must be taken take mine take mine [Music] [Music] sir this is the to Knievel ooh ooh stay close adora Quinn [Music] [Applause] [Music] beerus it's the powers check up 200 years old [Music] [Music] make each other a switch you're not Marik your quarters [Music] [Applause] before just playing around on them you know yes I mean I knew you liked passive women check but she's half didn't I hope she has a great personality because this hurts look like she said she loved me that's a lot more yeah your wife's a move so is yours Jack I was just kidding you were made for each other and you look great you really did bye Mary sorry for the last [Music] no I know I don't I just you you were you were so different then inside I miss you yeah I know I know I know looks aren't everything i under maybe it's just that they can help so much when you're checking your kids kiss you maybe we should get some moisturizer meet you have some medical supervision [Music] [Music] [Music] I'm in here love Mike where are you Oh Oh Shawn you do love me don't you oh yes you do love me sir jack will there be with me be with me forever anyway you want [Music] Oh oh my god what it right there oh are you weren't meant for this [Music] [Music] forever jack [Music] you're alive [Music] what do you mean I'm dead oh no take my word for it are you just saying that so you can have your wicked way with me sure if you weren't dead I wouldn't be able to have my way with you hmm hmm this is ridiculous [Music] you can't hide fire they're gone God [Music] you [Music] brother Tony you forgot your collar no you didn't he threw it away didn't you baby worst vacation I've ever experienced in my life Thank You mr. Claire however I'll be recommending Casablanca has the most haunted castle in the Western Hemisphere I hope that helps you with your business - Kyle I [Music] they're gone there [Music] funny I make a nice fish salad [Music] like alone like I can't thank you enough sir exactly we're decided to stay oh hey where am I gonna go right and listen they're putting in a stop calling me sir huh sorry I can't help it decide to marry me yeah are you asking well my wife's hardly dead and it was such a horrible death baby could wait a couple of centuries till 12 I've got a little privacy the days for the living Jack the night is for the dead how's the corpse pretty good [Music] so was the trip worth jack yeah she thinks I'm brilliant Oh Mary if I don't know we better fly since I last saw you I'm not kidding stabbed every night Jen Mary it hurt any more than that are you oh I know it so I think yank it takes me shopping I love my reason how'd you ever learn to dance like that happiness serger yeah [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you