Hold the Phone Single by 30 Ep 3

Author:

Wong Fu Productions

Keywords:

Single by 30,YouTube Red,YouTube Red Original Series,Wong Fu,modern romance,dating,adulthood,YouTube Red membership,YouTube Red subscription,Eric Ochoa,Kina Grannis,Anna Akana,Harry Shum Jr.,Manon Mathews,Ryan Higa,Hillary Anne Matthews

Subtitles:
[♪♪♪] ♪ Oh, baby you ♪ ♪ Oh, baby you ♪ ♪ You got what I need ♪ ♪ You got what I need ♪ So, we should celebrate. Celebrate what? I got second place. Okay, the judges are like 30, okay? They don't know what cool dancing looks like anymore. That one Matrix routine you did... Pchhoww... thing. That was so cool. I should've done the Back to the Future theme. They would've liked that. Even older: Grease. Uh, well, they just confirmed what my parents always told me: I should stop dancing and pursue a regular safe job. Look, second place doesn't mean you should give up. I think it's just awesome that you were up there on stage, you know, just going for it. Sunny's milkshakes? Oh, there's never a bad reason for Sunny's milkshakes. Come on, let's go. [♪♪♪] [SLURPS END OF MILKSHAKE] Feelin' better? Not really. I just wanna go on like one date where I don't need to decompress over a milkshake afterwards. People at Sunny's are starting to recognize me. [CELL PHONE VIBRATES] Is that something important? Just a notification. [BUTTONS CLICKING] Got another match. Wait, you're still on apps? I thought things were going well with that Sarah girl. They are. We just haven't really talked about it, you know. [PEOPLE CHATTERING] Yes, you were though. Over here. What's up, Peter? Oh, I didn't know you were here. He's always here, but now he's leaving. Oh, I am? Yes. I guess I'm leaving. I guess I'll walk out with him. Hope there's no more milkshakes in your future. Wow, that's like the fourth time this week he's spent the night? Yeah, but don't worry about it, it's not going to happen again. Four times means this is just a casual hook up. If we go to five, then it means that this casual hook up could become a thing, and a thing could quickly become a situation. Nobody wants a situation so... Speaking of which, feel free to use me as an excuse to get out of hanging out with Peter again. He's been over here five times, at least. Yeah, well, I mean, Peter's different. I told you, we're not hooking up. Right, and why is that again? He's very hot, he listens to your problems, he buys you milkshakes. What's wrong with you? [♪♪♪] Mm, Bieber or Swift? PETER: To make out with, or be friends with? What? No, to listen to. I thought bedroom DJs aren't allowed to like mainstream. Normally, yes, but mainstream pays those bills. What bills? You still live at home. Shut up. Anyway, I got my first real gig tonight. Do you remember how Mom and Dad made me join that whole honor society thing? Yeah, Gamma Nu Pi, or something? Isn't that like a coed frat? I mean, they call themselves a frat because they're nerds, and those nerds invited me to DJ their party. Mm, aren't you technically one of those nerds? This is the point, okay? I want you to picture 20 geeks in ties, drinking mocktails. I have to play the mocktails of music. So take a look at this and tell me what you think. Yeah, I recognize some of those names. So what time's the party at? I mean, I want to see your debut. Yeah... No. Heh, what, you don't want your cooler older brother cheering you on? It's not my JV soccer game. Come on, we never really get to hang out. You mean the eight hours we spend here filling orders isn't enough? You know what I mean. Now that you're back from college, you know, I figured we could hang out like real siblings. Fine. It's 7:30. I promise I won't stay long. I have a date. Oh, heh, a date. Okay, you don't have to lie to me. I have a date. Oh yeah, good luck on your date. Okay, he's got a date, everyone. [MOCKINGLY LAUGHS] [ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [LIVELY CHATTERING] Yo, you told me tonight was supposed to be low key. Yeah, that's what Grace said. But we won't be here long. I have a date with Sarah tonight. Oh no, that's cool. I'm in it for the long haul, man. Yeah, I got no plans, especially since Chloe doesn't want us to be a thing. If she doesn't want this, I'm happy to keep my options open. And there are plenty of options. Wow, her booty's thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. [WHISPERS] Excuse me. PETER: Excuse me, hey, sorry, sorry. What's happened? This is a lot more than 20 people. Apparently, the word got out. There's like 3 frats here and the water polo team, and anime club. So, you gonna go on soon? Uh, actually, no, I'm going much later. Bummer, my big bro's gonna miss my debut. Good luck on your date. What? No, no, no, no. I came to hear you scratch filthy beats, and I Googled a bunch of-- Okay, just-- Just stop talking. Okay, I need to go set up my gear. This was supposed to be a simple gig with just a bunch of nerds, and now I got to, like, impress people. Get out of my way, you weirdo. Yo, drink this. Uh, Grace is not going to go on for a while. I think I gotta cancel with Sarah. What should I text her? I don't know, if you don't care, literally text her anything. Mm, this one time I texted this girl a cactus emoji, and she knew we were done. Boom. No, I do actually want to see her again. Man, I haven't been to a college party in years. Chloe's really gonna regret letting me loose. 'Sup. That son of a bitch. Oh, wow. Hi. Mark just posted a snap of himself at a party. I thought you were taking a break from Mark. I am, but he knows that I have massive FOMO, and he's FOMO-baiting me on purpose. But you guys aren't exclusive, and you don't want to be exclusive, so isn't this good? Ah, Joanna, Joanna, Joanna, Joanna. I don't want to be exclusive with him. I want him to want to be exclusive with me. It's not that hard. What don't you understand about this? Um, everything. [MUSIC AND CHATTERING ON PHONE] Wait a second. Girls in crop tops, a game of flip cup, stop sign as decor. [GASPS] Unbelievable. He's at UNLA. Wait, how did you...? Tiny school logo on a tiny polo shirt. Damn, you're like Nancy Drew. Well, online stalking's a critical part of the game. Who is Nancy Drew? Is she verified? [LAUGHS] Okay, whatever. I need you to get dressed, 'cause we're crashing this party. Oh, a college party? No. That's not happening. Joanna, college guys are exactly what you need right now. They're quick, easy, and you can steal the scrunchie off their doorknob the next morning. And tonight, you're gonna make out with something other than a milkshake. Get dressed, we're going. [ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] Oh, yes, cheap beer and peer pressure. Yeah, it's awesome. Oh, my God, check it out. Love that move. Miss that move. What move? The Triple P: phone, pocket, play. You find a guy you're into, and you ask him to hold your phone, then at the end of the night, he has to find you to give it back to you. By that point, you'll both be drunk, so you hook up. Classic Triple P. Oh. I'll probably just keep my phone in my clutch. What clutch, Joanna? Okay, the last thing that Mark snapped was a video of him doing an ice luge, so... BRB. Thanks for inviting me, Chloe. It's been super fun hanging out with you. Peter? Joanna, wh-what are you doing here? I was dragged into Mark and Chloe drama. Did Mark bring you? Uh, no. I brought him. Ah, Grace is DJing the party tonight. Grace DJs? Yeah. Come on. PETER: So, you ready to party like you're 21 again? Oh, I'm ready to party like I'm 30. You know, um, it's all about partying smarter not harder. Even in college, I didn't party like a college kid. All my classes were at 9:00 a.m. So were you ever in a sorority? Worse. An a cappella group. [GROANS] Girls in Treble. [CHUCKLES] Yeah, which was especially awkward for the one guy in our group. You think we would've been friends in college? I don't know, probably not. I mean, we would've seen each other in a party, or in the hall, but you probably would've thought you were too cool for me. What? I literally just told you I was in an a cappella group. Like, I was not too cool for anyone. Well, I mean, a capella groups are kinda cool now, with that Glee show and stuff, but... Awesome, so this is our first college party together. Mm, and possibly our first hangover together. This is strong. Let me get you one. Oh, wait. Uh, Peter... Could you hold my phone? It's just, I don't have pockets, you know, so it's-it's annoying. Yeah, sure. Thank you. [POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] Hey! [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] Who is that? That is, um, Sarah, the girl that I picked for Peter. How do you feel about it? Are you okay? I mean-- Oh, my God, look at Mark talking to Crop Top McGee over there. I'll be back. Confession: I am not a total nerd, but I didn't really drink a lot in college. I was focused on the whole Pre-Med thing. Counter-confession: Me too. [LAUGHS] Except the whole Pre-Med thing. I've always wanted to know what it was like at a frat party. Oh, my God, I wonder if I have the upper body strength to do a keg stand. Oh, I can hold your legs. Perfect. So romantic. That's so romantic. Hey, long line at the keg? Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. Oh, yeah, Joanna, this is Sarah. And Sarah, this is Joanna, my friend from high school. Nice to meet you. You too. Peter, what time is your sister going on? Oh, uh, I'm not sure. Uh, let me go check on her. So, uh, Sarah, what do you do? I'm a pediatrician. How about you? Ah, me. Um... You know, I'm kinda in between things right now. Um, yeah, I used to be in finance. I just moved back to L.A., and I moved in with my best friend's sister. She's really cool. Yeah, I'm just, um, I'm just tryin' to figure stuff out right now. Awesome. [HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] Nice. That's two, that's three cups. MARK: Ball's back. There you are. You're not inviting me to parties? Chloe, what, what are you doing here? I saw your Snap story, okay. It was clearly FOMO-bait. What are you, like, hitting on college-aged girls now? That is so pathetic, and potentially illegal. Oh. Oh, pathetic? As pathetic as you seeing my Snapchat stories, and tracking down where I am? Who are you, Nancy Drew? Who is this Nancy person that you keep on--? Is she like a blogger? Or is just she-- Is she like on the-- Stop that! You know what, it doesn't matter. Keep playing. Don't listen to her. No, don't-- No, stop! No, don't-- Throw the ball, Brad! Don't do it, Brad! Throw the ball! Damn it! Listen, you wanna play games, okay, you can't game the game master, all right? No? Ooh. No, you can't. Tonight I'm gonna get my puma on, okay? I am a single-- You hear that, Brad? Single, hot 26-year-old woman, and tonight I'm gonna make some college guys-- maybe Brad-- ruin his patterned board shorts. Okay, yeah, well, me too. but with the opposite sex! If you wanna check out any more updates, just check out my Snapchat story. I know you will. Stalker! I'm not a stalker. Don't. Throw it, throw it. Damn it! Come on! Damn it! Oh, hey, Chloe. Hi. How'd it go with Mark? Not at all as I planned, so now, to appear irresistible, I need a hot frat guy to make out with. What's your status? I really just wanna get out of here, you know? What? No. No, hey. No. No. Look around. 21-year-olds everywhere, okay. Hot, horny, at their sexual peak, and as a 30-year-old woman, you are also at your sexual peak. Twenty-nine. Whatever. You're a human, and you have carnal desires, and college guys are great for satisfying those. Just look at them. I mean, they have no feelings. They barely have brains. Their frontal lobes won't develop for several years, okay? They get in and they get out, and that's exactly what you need. Hi, can I steal you for a second? Hey. You're hot, and seem down to clown. What's your name? Trevor. Trevor, very cool stuff. He's yours. And let's get a look at you. Yes, you'll do nicely. 'Sup. He's mine. What do you say we make some mistakes together? [LAUGHS] Your t-shirt has letters on it. That's great. [POP MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE] Hey, what are you doin' out here? There's so many more people here than I thought there was gonna be. And they all have phones. Do you know how viral DJ fails are? If tonight doesn't work out, maybe that means that taking a year off to pursue music was a mistake. I should've just gotten a secure job like all my friends. Look, even the greats take a year off. Jordan left the game to play baseball. Actually, that was a mistake. Really big mistake, actually. What I'm tryin' to say is, maybe this is your Space Jam? Sorry to interrupt the rousing halftime speech, but can I just say something? Uh, who are you? Oh, ha, this is my date. You exist? Yeah, I'm Sarah. And what you're feeling is totally normal, but, you know, when I went into med school, I went in right after college, and I really wish I'd taken time off to take risks. However tonight goes, it's awesome, you're going for it. You're doing exactly what you should be doing in your early 20s. Heh, plus, everyone at this party is drunk. They're not gonna remember. Mm, thanks. Her speech was much better than yours, by the way. I'll see you guys in 20. So get 'em, Gracie! Hey, thank you. I hope she doesn't suck. Yeah. [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] Hey, so what's your Snap? [SNAPS FINGERS] That's cute, but I meant your Snapchat, like, can I add you as a friend, or..? This is my only snap. Dude, you gotta get on it, it's the best! Like, I mean, I'm kind of a big deal, people call me like a Snap-lebrity. I get like a thousand views a Snap. Not a big deal, but kind of a big deal. Sometimes I make jokes, I make jokes on there too. I-I will like have my face, but I'll put like an emoji on it. So I put ghosts right here, act like scared, you know? I'm gonna-- I'm gonna find my friend, though. I'll be-- I'll be-- Oh, sure. Hey, Joanna, I, um, I miss you already. [JOANNA SCOFFS] A lot, heh. All right, bitches, we're about to shotgun these beers. Yeah, but that's kind of an offensive use of that word. Uh, do you have any like, anything else, like anything microbrewed or something? Nope, I'm sorry. 3, 2, 1, let's do this! Ah, not even that deep. Oh my God, oh my God! [MAN VOCALIZES] Yeah, you are so good at that, heh. [BELCHES] Just burped in my mouth. You just burped into my mouth. That was totally an accident. Okay. Professor Hok is totally ruining my life. MARK: Oh. Yeah, I don't, I don't miss that. GIRL: Oh, you graduated? When? Yeah, it's been about a... nine years ago. GIRL: So you're what, you're like 30? Why are you here? Oh my God, are you a cop? No, wait, Katie, hey... [MANIACAL LAUGHING] This guy might be a cop. How deeply uncool. Here we go! Oh! You got beat by a rookie! Ohh, yes! You're a natural! I know, I've found my true calling. Oh hey, uh, Grace is about to go on. You wanna go to the dance floor? Yeah, cool. Um, I'm gonna run to the bathroom, and I'll see you there. Hey! You havin' fun? Yeah, a blast. I should come right to college more often. Hey, how's everything with Sarah? Oh yeah, she dominated in flip cup. She's kind of badass. Here we go, Gracie! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! [ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] Oh, they like it! She's giving 'em earworms! Give 'em earworms, Grace! You are so embarrassing. Heh, that's the point. You're very cool. I know. Oh, man, when did people stop dancing with each other and just start bouncing around in the same direction? What, you're not into zombie line dancing? What are you doing Wednesday night? I have plans. Cool, me too. I'm just saying, you know, dancing is much more fun when you're facing someone. Hey, well, someone should go show 'em how it's done! Go! Nah, I'm retired. I haven't forgotten you were the best guy on the dance team. Second best. Not that it still bothers me that I got 2nd place in that competition or anything. Redemption time! Mm-mm. Come on, old man! What, are you too cool to dance? Oh, are you challenging me? Come on! Okay. Okay, all right. Here we go. Hey! All right, get in there! [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PICKS UP] That's my brother! Whoo! Whoo! Ooh, I am getting older. Oh, my gosh, did you see that guy? That was unreal. That was unreal. W-w-wait, hold on, hold on. Um, if we wanna make this relationship work, I think we should-- Whoa! Whoa! We're like-- You're like 21, right? You should be afraid of the R-word. Just because I'm 21 doesn't mean I don't have a lot of feelings, and I'm not able to express a lot of-- That's my drink. That was rum. I hate rum. See, this is great! This is the best part of the relationship. We're still learning stuff about each other. I personally love rum. I also love gum. And my thumbs. You know, I'm pretty much a rapper. I should make a Snap about rap. I'm doing it again! PETER: Oh, my God, I am so out of shape. That was pretty amazing. That was so rad, mister. So, I didn't know you could dance. Oh, I usually don't, but Joanna challenged me. Oh, it was Joanna's idea? Yeah. How do you guys know each other again? We grew up together. Everyone's really nice. I've had so much fun tonight. At a frat party. Words I thought I'd never say. Right? Hey, thank you so much for coming tonight. I'm not sure how many other women would be so cool with this. Well, I'm not like other women. So maybe you should lock this down. Oh, oh, should I? [BOTH CHUCKLE] I like you, Peter. I like you too, Sarah. [♪♪♪] Confession: I switched shifts tomorrow so I can spend the night with you tonight. Counter-confession: I like that. So we should make this official? I'd like that. [POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS IN DISTANCE] [GROANING] Hey. What? [CATCHING BREATH] Aren't you supposed to be hunting? Yes, but honestly, Mark, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I can't party like a 21-year-old anymore. Uh, I know. Samesies. [SCOFFS] I feel... Like feelings wise, I feel like a puma, but my fear is that-- [SCOFFS] Am I--? Shit Am I a cougar? Dude, puma, cougar, what does it matter? How about-- How about you and I act like a couple of rabbits in the back seat of my car? Okay, fine, fine. Fine, but tomorrow, we're taking a break. Don't text me, even if something crazy happens. on Game of Thrones. Heh, okay. Look, let's just go to my place. We won't have to deal with, well, roommates and whatnot. Let's make out. [♪♪♪] When did this happen? Oh, I have to pee. Hey, so before things get, uh, physical between us, I just-- I just got to let you know that I'm actually a very sensitive guy, so don't go breaking my heart, all right? Oh, by the way, do you have your ID on you? Because the deal with my dorm room is you kinda need to sign into-- Trevor, Trevor. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, uh, the worst thing I've ever done in my life was make out with you tonight. Oh. So that's a hard no on you comin' to my dorm? Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry, I-I gotta go. Okay. Oh, can I borrow your phone? LISA: I can't believe you remembered my cell phone number. Yep, you and Rachel Toomey. What? I can't believe she became a principal. Like, that girl used to party. Yeah, apparently so do you. What was it like kissing a 21-year-old? He wasn't the worst kisser. Not too much tongue. Plus, he had a nice back. What? I know. I love backs. Wait, you never told me why you gave Peter your phone. I just thought my night was gonna turn out differently. Give me more ice cream. [SIGHS] [KNOCKING ON DOOR] No pass code. Really? I could've done so much damage. But I took care of her, and fed her some juice. [CHUCKLES] Here you go. Thanks, Peter. You're the best. Hey, did you have fun last night? What'd you think of her? Um, Sarah's great. Oh, I meant Grace, but Sarah thinks you're great too. Oh, hey, pact update. Sarah and I took a big step last night. We both deleted our dating apps. Off app. Well, good for you. Congrats. Thanks. How about you? No updates here, except, uh, I'm pretty sure I need to date someone who's not on a campus meal plan. [LAUGHS] You need a milkshake? Uh, no. I, uh-- I should work on my resume, and get back to the old job hunt. [♪♪♪] Are you sure you're okay? Yeah, I'm just tired. Oh, yeah. All right. [LAUGHS] Bye. [♪♪♪] [PHONE RINGING OUT] MAN [ON PHONE]: Hey, Joanna. Hi, Carl. [♪♪♪]

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