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What's the most popular game on Steam? "PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS"' Well it must be a great game then! it's the worst fucking game i've ever fucking play- so the goal of the game... is out of a 100 people to be the last man standing on this fucking island. alright, here we go. give me a gun oh shit oh shit no shit (giggle) don't shoot! D: don't shoot, i'm innocent I'M INNOCENT!! I JUST WANNA HUG YOUUUUUUU this fucking time I'm gonna fucking do it. what the fuck is that? *pewds dead* *silence* are you kIDDING M- you guys come here often? no? is that MARKIPLIER?! OHMAGERD how do i look? OH MY GOOOOOOOO~! here we go owp shit shIT SHIT Oh come on I was reaching for my cornflakes. C'mon *laughs* *corn flake package crinkles* HHHHHHHHH what have I DONE? I'm so sorry *chuckles* i got nothing i have nothing don- stop! this is the fucking one. *rapid gunfire* hehe yeah hehe *rapid gunfires again* got 'em! Oh OOOOOOOOOO I never even got to fucking top 30 Alright. Here we go. Easy. This game is easy. Just going to loot these Swedish fucking homes There we go I'll take that shit gimme that. gimme that shit boi *loads shotgun* I saw a bunch of people land over here I'm literally gonna rush him Oh *fires shotgun* Oh I killed him? Fucking range on the shotgun, man GOTTEM I'll be taking all your shit, thank you very much That's right thank you- thank you very much I'm still gonna rush him Oh there's definitely someone in here Oh shit I can hear that fucker Is he upstairs? Yee Fuck Shit. Fuck. Ass. Ass fuck. What's he doing? I'm just gonna- just gonna check uh- my emails down here don't worry about it Just uh, making sure Everything's fine This is NOT camping This is uh- making sure that staircase is safe You never know, lot of people forget to clean out I'm so fucked *grenade* *grenade blasts* Oh shit oh shit He's waiting for me PLEASE DON'T HURT MEE I'M SWEDISH I should prolly just make him wanna kill me I'm not camping, sht the- sht the fck up Just making sure He can jump off the balcony *gasp* YEAAA BOIII HAHAAaaa whatchu gonna do huh roight in the fucking head almost at tittie Alright what do you got on you boi? That's right i'll be taking this and this and this and this and this and- and he got a fucking frying pan? Domo arigato *swaps weapon* kay Scope up. No? Alright well fuck it. Looks like a swedish little village doesn't it? Mkay Let's go out Out into the world *distant gunfire* Oh shIT. SHIT. DON'T SHOOT DON'T. Well he can't fucking aim. *giggles* Oh shit. WHERE THE FUCK IS HE? Where is he? There he is. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him I'll scope him out He doesn't know that I saw him There he is. Look at him Fucking kek *rapid gunshots* Okay I got one hit FUCK. Where'd he go? I'm gonna go around Hopefully he doesn't expect it Might be a stupid fucking move where is he? C'mon CUNT 'kay I think he's hiding That's fine I can smell his fear It's in my viking blood Oh he's in the building. He's in THE BUILDING I think he knows I'm outside Don't fucking see him tho He must've heard me I don't know what the fuck to do. What do I do? *gasp* There he is. Okay. Alright Alright. Papa Pewds.. is coming for you boi You better spread your ass for me boi Cause I got a shotGUN I don't wanna die now Kay. Clear He prolly heard me In here? No *gaaasp* *shotgun blast* *another shotgun blast* DIE DIEE YEAH. GOTTEM HELL yEAH YOU Got FUCKED BY THE POODIEPIE I'll take this Hey you got Redbull THANKY- OH A NEW VEST Alright have that Oooh. Nice pants Not for me tho WHOOOOOOOOO! Moar ammo Fuck I don't know where Anything is I saw someone. I th- I think I did Is he in the building again? Yes someone's definitely in the building Fuck me, man. You hear that wooden floor so well Are they fucking upstairs? FUck. The map is getting smaller. I gotta move. But I know he's in there OH *brraapp* Oh SH- OMGOMGOMGOMG I'M OUT. I'm out. I'm done. I'm fucking done I'll pick my battles alright? I'll pick my fucking battles Shut the fuck up Did he see me? Fuck we gotta move Otherwise we're gonna die Fuck. You know what? I'm just gonna run for it Call me a Swedish pussy or a figget I'm out alright? If anything I've learned is that you gotta pick your battles, man Sayonara mothafcka He's probably looking for me still asshole *giggle* Alright, we got a lot of running to do Fuck. We're so far away Gawd dammit Oh shit. Oh shIT. Oh sHIT Oh SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT see? AHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING? *laughs* What the fu- Did he not see me? Did he just park in front of me? Oh I'll take that and O-Oh thank you Ayy a police *?* Oh look how much ammo pffff The fuck was that? My character looks so fucking retarded *is he?* Alright well thanks for the car buddy Appreciate it *laugh* Ah. Fuck. No. Stop. I didn't know he was your friend I'm fuckin outta here *distant gunfire* STAHP SHOOTING MEEE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING This feels a lot like Half Life When you're driving that bungee or whatever And like Russian landscapes or some shit Except this is REAL This is real life I'm getting shaky, man Alright. Let's chill here for a while *character grunts* Oh for fucks sake Alright we gotta move again Circle Circle's getting smaller 'Kay I don't know where I should go OH Should I- Eh, fuck it FUCK IT *maniacal laughter* FUCK WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING? It was like a fucking Team Fortress character Fuck, I really thought I would die there That was so fucking bad Jesus Christ *you need him* Those are my glasses bitch *roasted* Alright time to move again Gotta get back into the white circle ;) Fuck it's small now ;);););) There's 23 people alive I'm gonna go to the buildings Oomf C'mon I wanna make at top ten at least Then I'll be happy I like this strategy Just going around with a bungee Okay Hopefully they'll come, some people from here Oh Too Far I'm playing it safe *pussy* It's not called being a pussy *yes it is* It's called being- A faggo- I'm kidding *i doubt it poods* For fucks sake Here's someone *finally* Fuck Shit Fuck Goddamn it C'mo- Shut up phone I can't die now I just can't IT'S NOT CAMPING *pussy* Okay? Shaddup I just don't wanna fucking die hehehe Fuck. Where'd he go Did he chicken out as well? There he is COME OUT AND PLAY BOI FUCK I CAN'T AIM GODDAMN IT Oh fuck I gotta move Oh shit Oh fuck Oh shit Fuck. What do I do? Oh, there he is. There he is AIM DIIIIIEEEEE The fuck is he doing? *what am I doing?* Oh my GAWD How is he alive? KIIIIIIILLLLLL FUCK I gotta blink. I'm wearing my contact lenses SHIT Okay I gotta move I got 30 seconds C'mon boi Seven people alive I'm going for my car Is there any other place to fucking go? I never m- Six people alive I never made it this far GOD DAMN BOI I'm in the circle Oh shit. There's a house here Well that's my fucking house now Thank you Is anyone here? I think I'm the first one The- The circle is getting so tiny. Five people I'm fucking closing this shit This shop is closed boys We serve only meatballs *you don't even have them balls XD* And now we play the waiting game *chuckles* Oh it's getting s- Oh it's already getting smaller Shit it's tiny The circle is sO TINY!! I thought I heard someone OH Who the fok say hi to mah house? *Grove st. 2017* Fuck, I gotta make it over there What do I do? I don't know where to go I'm panicking here guys *cus ur a lil bitch* How are there FIVE people in this TINY FUCKING AREA Goddamn I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. C'mon boi 30 seconds. SHIT Okay I'm going Do I take the car? What do I do? OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT GET OUT DON'T SHOOT MEEEEEEEEEE AHHHHHH UH NO. YOU GETTING FUCKED BOI SHIT C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon YES FUCK YOU YOU SNEAKY NIBBA! HE WAS WAITING FOR ME That motherfu- There's 3 people alive Oh shit it's th- I'm drinking a fucking Redbull There's me and one other fucking guy In this circle right now Out of a hundred people I'm fucking shaking I'm about to shit myself, bros *please don't* He can't be behind me He must be here somewhere That's a rock *yes it is poods* Look how tiny this fucking asshole is - Pewdiepie 2017 There's no way he can't be there Fuck. What do I do? I'm panicking I'm gonna be so fucking pissed if I die now I swear to fucking god *shrek* Well I'm still in the circle But damn it's getting tiny :| Where is he? Where the fuck is he? I see him I see him I see him That snek! BaBADUM *victory cry* YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH BEST GAME I'M THE BEST PLAYA ALIVE MOTHAFUCKA THAT'S RIGHT YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS GAME I'M UNINSTALLING Never playing this shit again Fuck you