Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Feb 1


WhatCulture Wrestling


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[Applause] hey guys Jules here for what culture calm back again with another episode of the most insane things happening in wrestling right now the show that does exactly what it says on the tin in the most annoying way possible you are very very welcome now the Royal Rumble has just happened and as you might expect there has been a myriad of weird moments going on but before we begin with that I just want to check in with you guys at home do our little weekly checkup that is now building into a common theme of this show I hope you are treating yourself as well as you possibly can and remember something everything worth achieving in life takes time and that goes especially true for mental well-being so just take care of yourself and be a little patient alright anyway let's crack on with the show and hit that intro [Music] now the WWE Rumble matches are without a doubt some of the best most silly and downright weird matches the company puts out 30 entrants young and old going hardcore for five minutes and sitting down and corner for 10 more it's a rush of who's going to go next the too close to call eliminations the comedy spots yes the WWE loves their comedy spots and the rumble is no exception but quite possibly the weirdest one this week besides the joke of Shinsegae and rusev teaming up after being at each other's throats for months what Selena Vegas attempts to hide under the ring to win the match now on paper this is a fairly ingenious strategy I mean take cover for a while and then pop up and eliminate the few who remain and for a while actually look like it would work plus it is an ace heel move but then something happened someone somewhere possibly in the audience at the event wondered to themselves Hornswoggle is up to these days and then accidentally this summoned the swag as well as the actual answer which is welp Selena's guts if he gets his way yes that's right the tiny green machine emerged from under the ring and he chased Vega around the announce tables and then into the ring for her to get dumped and dumped by really and then just followed her to their back and we all laughed until another thought crossed our minds what how was he gonna do to her if he actually caught her and then the world got a little darker I mean smuggle looked more horned up than Jim Ross on Twitter so I doubt that he was going to go to the back and redo the nearly ad but don't think about it too much don't worry about the women because remember this was the same night that Nige axe got absolutely pied by three finishers and was still in fit enough shape to ask for more on Twitter after the events so in reality it'd be likely that Vega and the rest of the female locker room would toe punt this little bastard for a field goal in another country if he actually tried to slide into a pot of gold that is Chris Jericho will forever be one of the best wrestlers I ever had the pleasure of watching while growing up I mean who can forget his pineapple hair debut and the catalog of excellent technical matches he put on across his career but I also never forget the day that he decided to ditch the tights put on Jeff Jarrett's spare underwear and developed the deadliest dadbod known to man he can still go though even at 48 the man is wrecking house and aew scored a big signing with him and he can also go off on Twitter apparently because he told Brock Lesnar to lose the guts the dream is over dude during his match at the rumble lose the guts I mean seriously Chris I'd know that you think your music is good but you can't be that deluded right I mean the shit hypocrisy of Jericho commenting on a guts is laughable as it is me critiquing both these wrestlers physiques right I mean still though Chris you've got to lay off the Duff on a wait sorry you weren't drunk oh were you according to your tweets there but also as a side note Lesnar if he does have a gut it's only because the WWE keep feeding him superstars that the audience picks and then he laughs all the way while he picks his teeth clean with them zing [Music] when is a soy boy a soy joy yes you are taking these mind grapes and making some fine toilet wine with them and it's also in the WWE allows Daniel Bryan to Papa woody on their TV program so a year ago it would have been absolutely mental to think of Daniel Bryan being a heel and yet here we are with him as your soy EES of boys and champion and he is absolutely brilliant and the thing is that this off-the-cuff comments on capitalism and the Dobie W itself are spot on as is the hypocrisy that sees him as the champion which makes it even better yet deep bright isn't content just to be a wheel on the bump bus he is actually a driving force and is changing things from the inside case and point the move to a new hemp and responsibly sourced title that he now carries and it's absolutely bloody beautiful and it's funny there because AJ stars on loud with the Crowder claimed that WWE prefers as performers not to politicize their promos one way or the other and yet here we are allowing as left early nning wrestler as you can be without falling over to be the goat that sails of the boat there's a lot of vehicle metaphors in this one on there so are we two men who have been claimed to be SOI boy beta cooks quietly laughing that a hardcore vegan is now champion with a belt made of wood yes we've well our and to those comments who are getting angry and crying at this light like a bunch of like a bunch of cogs well you can taste my eco figs and suck on his naturally fallen oak so this next piece was probably one of the most insane things that happen this week the dean ambrose might be packing up his little red wagon and looking for fields greener as he is letting his WWE contract expire when it finishes in a few months this is a game changer Ambrose isn't Mike Kanellis with whom the WWE has literally done nothing Ambrose isn't the revival a tag team with whom the dough either he has done nothing Ambrose and Hideo Itami a performer who admittedly might be over the cusp but there will also move that WWE has done nothing with there's almost like a theme here this is a top star former WWE Champion with a rich backstory that they can lean back on his recent booking has stunk those stinking more than Rikishi stung and it's now been made clear thanks to Wade Keller scoop on this exact subject that he's hated this hokey stuff for some time it's therefore quite surprising that he put up with it for so long now I get that the WWE is a good platform in a great place of exposure for talent but some of his gimmicks have been as bad as Charlotte Flair's Ken kendo stick line that she tried out it's like it was applied to Dino V hey Seth our friend Roman is in trouble he's being attacked by Luke leukemia it was that bad however the prospects for Dean now look good as a W is gonna be sniffing up ball and down him trying to score him for sure so Ambrose planning a scram bro so Dean can make some green are you having a giraffe thank you thank you yes yes I deserve this I'm gonna continue my reading of last week's story love hurts I've had a bit of feedback because things do get quite graphic here so I'm gonna be replacing any sexualized language with more family-friendly PG terms hey Dolph Cody said softly hey Cody Dolph said with a big smile heard you were looking for me last week Dolph locked eyes with Cody them deep blue sexy eyes reminded Dolph of his favorite Beach he used to go to when he was younger but snapped himself out of the glaze to see a hurt Cena hoppin to the locker room I did but I kind of forgot why but if I remember I'll find you this time Cody smiled and went to the arena for his match John wait up John looked up and saw Dolph and kept walking and shut the door behind him Dolph rands a Cena's locker room and knocked John it's Dolph I called your name I hope you're not avoiding me Dolph said the voice getting weak as if he was about to burst into tears John opened the locker room door naked Dolph fudge me now Dolph smiled and attacked John sex lasted two hours Dolph ever wonder what life would be like if John said with a tear falling from his eye John are you okay what happened Dolf said with his heart breaking from seeing john cry Alex Riley is my boyfriend and we're getting married tears falling from John's eyes what you used me Dolph said with a pain in his heart Dolph I'm falling for you that's why I'm so sad I don't want to hurt Alex but I want you to be the one I marry , have sex with , eat out full stop Dolph I love you and that's the end of the story yes we're all accountable for this now in a sort of recap section this week we had tons of smaller weirder moments we had our truth capture the United States title twice thus proving that it wasn't a fluke we had Shane and the Miss win the tag championships which I'm I'm sure it's good for business somehow having the son of the company heading up one of the divisions as a champion and we had Eric Rowan returning but some broke-ass Rugrats star music and a plaid shirt that made him look about as threatening as a sponge bath with an extra soft sponge and Johnson's no more tears shampoo and then we have the odd revelation that Kurt Angle the Olympic hero was actually subbed in for Zach Ryder's position in the Royal Rumble that's really weird right that the Olympic hero was a sub from a man whose biggest push came from flying off a stage in a wheelchair was this some sort of comment that the WWE the angle can't go any more than a superstar that continually has its legs cut out from under him probably not but now is a little spiteful but it also leads me to my final point which is the absolute ire in which Cory groves put down Renee young after being verbally tied by her own commentary now during the Kurt Angle versus Baron Corbin match Renee young confronted Cory by saying what she said she said if he's carving himself into the annals of WWE history he's doing it with a plastic fork and this was a solid five on the Heenan two-striker scaled it wasn't actually bad at all great though absolutely destroyed her renewed confidence by giving her an absolute ball acanthus going slightly off-topic he absolutely ripped her to shreds for referring to angle as an American Hero you know the gimmick that he's been living for absolutely years he was so it said something like what the hell does this have to do with anything there's quite a lot to his stuff and he was like can I finish my thought here please are you killing me all right gone then what was that thought that you were trying to get over was it the fact that you were saying that wrestling before the WWE told us that rest English because Baron Corbin ruined it was that you thought was it so yeah the rumble clearly has scrambled a few people's brains both in the ring and on commentary because everyone was tripping all over themselves and it must have been the reason why JBL confused a pot lo Cruz with Shelton Benjamin right and then we have it those were the most insane things happening in wrestling this week thank you very much filled chambers you're welcome for your continued work on this show only takes three takes to go right and Tomoko Cedric who's probably off in some ivory tower of hatred penning next week's one as we speak thank you very much to him but before I go let's just close out the show the only way we know how by reading our favorite comment from last week's episode and we asked you to book us the match between a repo man and the Big Boss Man and I'll let you read this out because this is the this is the best one we're only going to read that one because we have time constraints now apparently okay so from hell hammer X it says repo man versus a big bust man in a parking lot Matt Lieberman has lost his job both in WWE and in the repo business Oh still he had one last repo left and nothing would stop him from finishing it okay bit weird yep so repo man arrived it to the parking lot there is a van but before he can proceed he encounters Big Boss Man it's all got better ripe Evo a little bit still with a rope around his neck oh wow okay telling repo man he has no right or authority to repo any more and starts a brawl with him okay man takes a lot of bumps against other cars and is about to surrender when suddenly from inside the van Dead's dead dan7 Milliken oh that actually makes a lot of sense considering with the music of Brett Harland wait what he's sorry we call him his I've Miller Bret Hart now because I feel like that that's his porn name if anything okay and proceeds to apply the ups and downs to big buff man Farrah now there's Reaper man allowing him to repo for one last time and declaring him not only the winner of this parking lot match plus the best gimmick ever I'm kind of in love with that also I'm in love at the fact that Hellhammer writing that thought that repo was a was a job yeah three people just read about things I Reaper Reaper of corns anyway right well there we go thank you so much for writing in on that one and we're gonna set up next week's challenge which is going to be a match that you get to choose the stipulation and what happens but it's going to be between I'm going to say bull Buchanan from right to censor interesting and if I could be serious for a minute I'm gonna choose lunch Don oh I get it that's very funny that's very funny indeed anyway as always I've been Jules I have been filled you can follow me at retro Jay with a zero over on Twitter at Phil my chambers also on Twitter and while you'd be in a nice person about to want to go to shop what culture calm or check out the teespring store that we got down below because we're now transitioning up to that to save you money on delivery costs anyway you've been awesome we've been yeah next week bye guys are we premiering this no we're away were way cool no next time next we're going to do a premiere