Keep Your Dreams Your Priority Lisa Nichols

(uplifting music) - Hey, tribe. Welcome back to the Lisa Nichols Show, where I share with you the tools that you need to design the life that you want to achieve. I'm so excited, oh my god, everyone's blowing up the Comments, jumping inside, answering the questions, asking great questions. Valerie, I love your breakthrough. Your breakthrough, girl, said that loving myself is just as important as loving on everyone else. Man, when you get that, when you understand that you are the example that everyone else is looking at on how they're gonna love you, based on the way you love yourself. And Cheryl, like you just made the most powerful conversation. You talked about how it was powerful for you to learn the ability to press the Reset button. Give yourself a thousand second chances, and every time you get to 999, press Reset. Man, when you get that, you never, you stop keeping score and you start just keeping track, like you don't start stacking up the deck against yourself, you start saying, "Wait a minute, "what was the lesson I learned there, "and how do I use that to go forward?" I love it, I love our conversation that we're having here. You guys know it's gonna to be candid. It's gonna be real, it's gonna be juicy, it's gonna be authentic. Sometimes it might be care-frontational, but it's necessary, always necessary. So, here's our question for now. (lively music) You know, in this busy world, we are being mothers, we're being fathers, we're being sisters, we're being daughters, we're being colleagues, we're being employees, we're being entrepreneurs. We're always being something that demands us to show up for someone else. The question in all of that is how do you keep, how do I keep, how do we keep, our own dreams, our own aspirations a priority, while serving everybody else, and here's what I know. When you're good at what you do, or when you're just good, when you're just great, everybody wants you to help them because you're great. So, don't be so surprised that everyone's always asking you to join their team, to jump on this assignment with them, to go to this place with them because you're amazing, and people want amazing people around them. The challenge is you are always in demand, and you have to make a clear, decisive decision, and so when you look at prioritizing, it really lives, and I'm gonna say this word, and you're probably not gonna want to hear it, but when I tell you it's a game-changer, when you master, and just for now, begin to operate inside of time-management. I used to resist time-management, because I'm a free-spirit, slash, people will call me a rebel back in the day, meaning I did't want to be controlled. I'm a butterfly, I wanted to soar, I wanted to be free. Well, the reality is that when you manage your time more effectively, you actually create more freedom. That was a huge aha for me. Somebody's going BOL right now, like Breakthrough Out Loud, because when you time manage meaning I'm gonna use better blocks of my time. Let me give you some examples for that. I'm gonna use better blocks of my time, meaning I'm only gonna go in my email three times a day. I go in my email about 9:30, between 9:20 and 9:40, I go in my email. I stay in my email for 30 minutes. I'll go back in my email about 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I stay in my email again for about 30 minutes. I'll go back in my email one more time, at 6 pm. I stay in for about 30 minutes. That's it, I don't go in 19 times. I don't go in 20 times, because three times a day gives me adequate times to see what's in there, see what's new, and act appropriately. Otherwise, it's throwing me off. I time-block my day, about 90 minutes each time block to do a task, even if a task only takes me 30 minutes. I time-block 90 minutes because I get distracted. When you time-block your day, and then you schedule each day, not every day looks the same. I have a time block for everything I need to do, for seven days out of the week. Can you believe that in that time, I got more things done. Now, I'm gonna post on my Facebook page, my actual time schedule from 2006, and do you know that that time schedule took my revenue up 258% in a year because I was more laser-focused. You're not operating wide and loosey-goosey, and confused, and hopping from one thing to another. You have a task on your time, even relaxing, even reading book, even just chilling, even having me time with Jillani. I have that in my schedule. I know that sounds rigid, but I spent more time with Jillani, when I scheduled spending time with Jillani, and you'll notice on the time management schedule that I'll show you as an example that I didn't use Workout, 'cause working out does not inspire me. The phrase Working Out does not inspire me, but I would use the name that speaks to the result that you want to create, so when I was checking email, it said Hunting for New Business, and when I was going to the gym, instead of Workout, it says Snatching my Sexy Back. You can have that, too, by the way, on your agenda, you can have that, too, and when I was spending time with Jillani, it says Bonding with Jillani, and so create the name for the result you want to create in the world, versus the process to get there. The process to get there is gonna be psychologically draining 'cause it's the process. The outcome is going to inspire you, so name your task inside time management, with the outcome that you want to create. So that's how do you keep yourself a priority. Number one, how do you keep your agenda a priority. Number one, set a schedule that puts your agenda in the schedule, because when it doesn't exist out loud, it doesn't exist anywhere. That's number one. Number two, you have to become comfortable with your No. My grandmother says, "Baby!" She starts every sentence with Baby. "Baby, if you want your Yes to have more value, "you need to exercise your No," so your Yes might not have its value anymore. Why? Because you give it away too much. You give it to too many people, you give it away too often. You're always over committing, and then you feel drained and frustrated, and you don't have gratitude in your heart because you're over-committed. Well, that all started with a Yes that should have been a No, or should have been a "I'd love to, but not now." And so, number two. Number one is more effective time management that has your agenda in it, that has your priorities in it. Right now, your agenda is covered with everyone else's tasks. I heard once if you don't have your agenda, then you're going to work for somebody else's agenda. And so, number is your time management with your agenda, and number two is operating, utilizing, and being comfortable in a No, and not a attitude No, not like a "S'aint No, like No!" Not that, mm-mm, just a "No, not now. "No, I would love to, but my plate is full. "I'm free in 90 days." Just don't make, no energy, just not now. Don't be surprised when everyone comes to you, you're great, you're amazing, you're brilliant. Look at you, you're on this channel, so you know you're smart. You want a better life, you want an abundant life. Of course, you're here. Of course everyone wants you, and your priorities matter, so the third thing is to remember, it's your job to fill your own tank. It's your job to fulfill your own dreams. It's your job to write the story that you're going to want to read. It's your job, so the responsibility of your dreams coming true does not belong to your husband. It does not belong to your man, it does not belong to your woman or to your children. So to wait and hope for them to one day see your dream as a priority, that's an unrealistic expectation, and actually, it's unfair. It's your priority, and what that looks like is carving out time. It looks like putting it on the agenda. It looks like declaring it out loud so that the world could hear. It looks like giving yourself a chance, a thousand chances, and pressing Reset if you happen to fall down or sit down or get distracted. So, if you wanna know what does it mean to keep your priorities, your dreams a priority, it starts with you, it starts right now, it starts right here. I know what it feels like to prioritize other people over my dream. I did it for years. I loved being loved, I love love, and I love being loved, and I used to say Yes all the time, just to be loved, and I realized that I was teaching the people around me how to treat me, that you teach the people around you how to treat you, so if they're treating you as if your life isn't a priority, your dreams aren't a priority, it's because you've taught them how to treat you that way. I know, ouch, Lisa, dang! I know, it stings, it stings when I say it. It stings me when I say it, but the reality is if you've trained them how to treat you, then you can retrain them how to treat you now. And so, and it's not a matter of making any big announcement, it starts with just setting some healthy boundaries. It's starting with making some time management. It starts by making sure you continue to come back here, and that we stay connected, and that you allow me or someone else to help navigate you through the terrain called designing a better life, the one that you love, the one that you admire, and so let's start with those things, because that'll make a huge difference in your life. Now, remember my friend, this is not just a monologue, I'm not just talking to you. This is a dialog, as you know, and I would love, as always, to hear from you. What are your biggest insights? What are your takeaways from today's episode? I wanna know how can you better manage your time? How can you take back time in a loving way? What do you want to spend time on, when you have it? How can you set better boundaries? Where do you need to say, "No more," in your life? And what opportunity do you have to say, "Yes more," in your life? Will it be to other people or to yourself, and most importantly, what's at stake? What's at stake for you to put your priorities in place, for you to put your dreams on the main plate, not on the side dish? What's at stake there? How will the world be a better place when you do? Leave me a comment below. Be sure to share and subscribe, and look out for more amazing content, because this content isn't just coming from me. I don't know if you've read the Comments on some of the other episodes, but man, the dialog is juicy. So, I look forward to talking to you in the future. Remember I'm your sister in prosperity, and in possibility. I believe in you, and I love you, I do.