Men and Women




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Satsang with Mooji Tiruvannamalai 5.2.2011 [Music] Men and Women [Music] Women and Men [Questioner:] There are two different point of views, totally different, about women. Ahhh... [Laughter] Let's start with the good one, and positive one, which I am fan of. [Laughter] Okay. There is a proverb that says, 'Behind every man, there stands a great, inspiring woman.' Which means, which basically means, if you don't have a great, inspiring woman in your life, then you, as a man, can't achieve greatness. Okay? [Laughter and applause] The other idea... [Laughter and applause] Okay, the other ... [Mooji:] I feel the temperature going up a little bit. [Q:] Yeah, yeah. [Laughter] [Q:] The other idea, which I am not a fan of, okay, says, I don't know how to say this, okay. [Laughter] A woman is an unsecured being. [M:] Insecure being. [Q:] In-secured being. [M:] Yes, yes. [Q:] Okay [Laughter] So she can act as maybe, an obstacle in men's, you know, way to find their path in life. For a man to find his way, should he have a woman in his life? I mean, is she going to be a supporting factor, or an obstacle? [Laughter] Thank you. [Huge laughter and applause] [Q:] Can I ask one more thing? [M:] Ahhh, yes, yes, yes. [Q:] For me, personally, I would like to have a woman in my life. You know? I don't like to meditate alone, to pray alone, to communicate with God alone. [Laughter] It would be much more enjoyable when you do this with your partner. You meditate together, you pray together, you share everything. I feel it's much more enjoyable. But I want to know, is this the right thing, to do? [Laughter] [M:] I like you very much. [Laughter and applause] When someone speaks out, what most people think, but don't say; and he comes, and you speak it out, no? Like this is good. What happens is that, if you had spoken, 'This is my experience.' If you had said, 'This is my experience.' Then, somehow, rather than, it is said that... And I think it's okay, to express this also. But, it feels... People are so different. Isn't it? People are so different. With sweeping, statements like this, have to be taken a bit lightly. You can not take them too seriously. Because then, it's a kind of blindness to speak like that; to have this type of view; because people vary also. Many of the points you make about women, also, men are also experiencing like that. But it is good to have someone with whom you can communicate. And it is true, that sometimes, true sometimes; also here we speak about it; that, especially in satsang, where you are exploring more into your own stillness, to find out who you are, like this. And the feeling of our identity as, and personality, seems to be thinning out. Like it's not such a tremendous force. It's becoming now something, you can observe. And that's a big change in perspective and experience for many people. Then what happens is that we feel that, we are going to pass away; we are going to disappear. And what happens very often, when the ego feel like it is thinning away; the biggest revival for the ego, is to new relationship! Isn't it? One of the great distractions can be a relationship! It is a great salvation for the ego, because then somehow, 'Wohaaa... someone finds me valuable' or something. So this type of relationship, I point out and I say, be aware of that. It's part of the strategy somehow. I am using these words for now. As the mind is somehow feeling under threat, then, it will come up, very strongly for a while, to sabotage your seeing; the completeness of your seeing. All the doubts, all the fears, all things that you felt you have transcended in the past, comes back with real force for a while. And I say, Hold your ground. Don't divide yourself. Stay centered in your truth. This is something. Its relating to the point, you are speaking. I'm making a bigger point of it. But, some relationships also, blossom here in satsang. And, what a a beautiful opportunity. Because especially if you are in the same wavelength, looking towards the same, or searching in the same way for truth. It can be tremendous support also. Isn't it? And some marriages have taken place here in satsang, you see, with all of my blessing. So, it's a question of discerning and, communication is the most important thing. Because there is a peace about love; a freedom to be yourself in all your expressions. Still to be open for change. This is something, must be dynamic. Not saying, 'This is how I am. You have to accept me as I am.' When you are meaning the ego. To accept me as I am, when you are consciousness. But when you are just ego, and the tendency is to... towards insecurities and attachments, and fears and all of this type of things. Vulnerability, fear of rejection, all of these things come into play. So it is very important for someone, first, to focus on your own freedom. Because you bring more into relationship. Freedom is not free in order to have a better relationship. But, somehow if a relationship happens inside your freedom, then it will be a very beautiful thing. Communication is at the heart of it. I remember one story. One man, he, this couple, they had an argument. They had some argument, and then they decided to not talk to each other. But they are still living in a same small place. But they are not talking to each other, and they pretend like they are not, that each one is not there. But, at the same time, they keep looking where the other one is, but ahh... This is going on for a few days and neither of them would break their attitude. And then the husband remembered, 'Oh, ahhh! I've got to make this appointment.' He had to make this appointment to travel to another place in the morning. Early he must fly. But he can't wake up by himself, because always his wife has to wake him up. And then he feels, 'Oh! Ahh! What do I do now?' But he didn't want to break and give in, and break his silence. So he wrote. He had a bright idea. [Laughter] And he wrote a message on the paper, 'Wake me up at 5:00. Urgent.' Okay. And then he put it by her bedside table. And then he felt very good, 'I didn't have to speak to her.' So, in the morning, comes, and the cock is crowing, 'Uururru'. [sound of cock] He gets up and he wakes up. And it is like 8 o'clock! 'Haaa!' He is furious! And she's in the bathroom, singing, 'Oh what a beautiful morning.' [Laughter] And he is completely furious, and he rushes, going to rush to see her. And then he sees a message on his table. And he opens it, and it says, 'It's 5 o'clock. Get up.' [Laughter and applause] So, if we are going to be like this in life, then nothing is going to work. I think communication is at the heart of things. Openness, non-game playing, all of this is okay. And the broad thing about how men are and how women are and so on... there is something I would want to say, because I heard this before. When we were growing up, it was like a kind of, I don't know if it is... a saying, where I grew up. It says that, 'Men uses affection to get sex and women uses sex to get affection.' There was a little thing like this, no? But actually, we have a debate about these things, and say, there is a difference in our orientation somehow, but it looks like, the universe purposefully make like this, so that we are not, we are not the ones who complete each other. That you must find for yourself the Truth. You see? Because if, man was made for woman and woman was made for man, then you would not grow spiritually somehow. You'd be each other's answer somehow. So it says, 'Man is made for God and woman is made for God.' That if somehow inside, your heart is turned towards the True, then everything else will work fine. Even what you speak, 'It's good that you have somebody, and they are like you and you're together.' But you cannot make that happen. You can only discover that. And if your heart is not fixed on too much intention and how things should be and how they should not be, but more, find your own Truth and your own spontaneous flexibility; then life will bring you to the right person who is compatible with you, with your energy. There is a peace about love. (Music) A freedom to be yourself in all expressions - when you are consciousness. Focus on your own freedom. Video Extract from Satsang: ''The Power of Yes''