Mind Your Language Season 3 Episode 5 Funny Court

[Music] anta I brought you some coffee miss Courtney I shall be wanting it this morning thank you very sigh have to be the course in half an hour Jenny's Court magistrates oh my goodness what have you done I am on the bench I am a JP oh very nice any juicy bits I beg your pardon well you know like you reading the Sunday papers husband finds wife in bed with love ah no Gladys trust the usual amount of football hooligans and don't be disorderly that sort of thing enter Thank You Gladys the stock room keys back today choosing caught caught what Magistrates Court gone have you been nicked friend wanna defend you and if he can't get you off a bank a few quid to the Jaypee most of them the bench I have a JP hahaha I was ready junkie I think you two tomorrow yeah well don't be too hard on anyone will you remember a person who's innocent until he's proved guilty yes well I have often thought that should be the other way around you should know this oh I hate to come up before her me neither with people like her on the bench no wonder they demolish the death sentence Oh chase double one has been put back until after lunch okay well let's get on with it poor case number two bull case number two this caught me what are you doing here I am the presiding magistrate Oh blimey we are being in luck we are born to be getting off Scottie field these people was caught secondly do are you sure you won't be prejudiced in their favor if I am prejudiced it's certainly going to be in their favor means big attack isn't it a little unusual for the police to bring so many defendants before the bench at one time the duck seems a little overloaded the case is rather unusual madam they accused their acting individually did in fact commit the offences collectively I see part of the charges miss Chun soo Lee and mr. Tyrone ah Gazoo be inciting a riot I demand it from any community mr. Giovanni Capello it was done your father disturbing the peace mr. Ranjit Singh that mrs. Jamila Ranjha causing an affray please I'm not understanding what is meaning what he's reading out the charges you mean you had to pay for being here more than likely will you please be quiet sorry mr. Ali Nadim and miss anna schmidt causing a public nuisance mr. Juan Cervantes and mr. maximillian papandrious assaulting a police officer he has sought us first she hit my fists with his joke another remark like that I should hold you in contempt poor fella speak when you are spoken to one sorry wrong number that's all talked about mr. brown oh I'm not charged with anything party of doing in the dock I come here to speak on their behalf he's our mouthpiece sure he's going to spring us you see Miss Courtney's dad you must come down onto the floor of the court if you wish to address the bench you see Miss Courtney they're hot I am NOT miss Courtney funny she looked like me Scott Lee thank you address me as your honor sorry your honor but there are mitigating circumstances now I'm sure that when you've heard what these students have to say you will decide to act leniently we see about that after we ever heard the explanation yes well it all happened last Friday evening after class as part of their homework I decided to give the students various tasks to perform things to do places to visit sue Liam Tara would you tell the court what happened in your case take the stand please take the book in your right hand and read what's on the cart yes'm I swear by Almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth so they poke in your right hand I'm not going to tell the truth the fabric of China not breathe in Christian religion what do you believe it Chairman Mao very well do you swear by Chairman Mao that the evidence you gave so the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth in Democratic Republic of China there's no room for eyes closed is absolute so fair Chairman Mao I think we can accept that as an acclamation receive task mr. brown Eric eight to taro and me is visit speaker's corner in Hyde Park to observe auditors do not be deceived by assurances of a so-called change of attitude in China they are still governed by dictators people are still oppressed rubbish China is still an aggressive nation it is Western imperialist war aggressors China is still a free democracy those talking rubbish ah if you don't like it over here get back to where you came right don't speak like that for my friend or she was a lady or something I am used for you I am no ready [Music] not all fault you may stand down who's mr. Giovanni Capello and Miss Fabri take the book in your right hand and read what's on the card not the likely I'm not the swear on a Protestant Bible we are Catholics I swear by the Pope give him a Catholic Bible okey-dokey I promise I'm gonna tell all of the truth me too carry on your honor Issa like at ease mr. brown asked us to visit television studios to see how television programs are made oh yes where do you think you're going we got driver to look around you're not allowed in here without a pass but I'm sure you can look the other way whose are made to be broken more for me no please for how sorry hey we'll set down there with we have a little product don't worry nobody's gonna find it quick in here [Music] good afternoon and welcome to another edition of world of sport this afternoon and our search for sporting agency which we go you my time on air but I am Dickey Davis and I'm trying to do a program I'm very sorry about that but when the program is right anything can happen target as I was David can I walk around please [Music] thank you very much believing this gentleman welcome by first guests surmise has been across the Atlantic specially to be with us I think I know you it's a michael Parkington [Music] [Music] [Music] Your Honor I arrestor my bag don't you bother you rest your case okey-dokey I restore my bag and on my case there's far too much never here in this courtroom we will now take a short break and when we come back actually hope for a little more respect otherwise the court will be clear [Applause] mr. Singh and mrs. Ranga what do you swear on against my religion he is be mean swear on holy book Thousand apologies I'm sorry no I am be swear by Almighty God I am be swear to tell the obsolete truth and nothing but the awful truth masterji is asked us for a homework to be take boat on river famous and we complain when the weather is fine then you know it is the rhythm if you take my very simple it's forward to go forward and backwards to go thankful what the mode if you want to go sideways I think I am you really want to hire this boat most definitely all right switch on [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] the boat didn't sink stand down take the book in your right hand and read what's on the card I tell you what happened no no miss I no no no no I speak good better English tell the court what happened mr. Cervantes he's in Georgia mr. Broun he tell us to go and see the works wash wax west they say I tend not you okay so we go to my down to solve [Music] we take the photo of me with the British grace hot which way we could we ask where we find the Queen he's a wax man looks like a real man Hey look here's another ah you don't look very nice he looks like a damn how they kid needs fun of young it's just uh can I help you gentlemen yeah real man yes including the mustache and we are looking for the royal family hey I'm going to have the picture taken with itwe are minha members of the public are not allowed to touch the exhibits and sorry we not ten no boys thank you very much unfortunately you are too late we are about to close you will find the exit that way we better go now I want the picture with the Queen and pinch fit we go that ah there they are ha I go front you take [ __ ] okay but be quick ice-t we're not just check-in here [Music] [Music] come on you two [Music] oh it's quite enough you may stand down mr. Nedim and miss Schmidt as fair by Almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth and what about you Oh blimey I'm also swearing but by the Holy Quran Nancy Lee Padre kazanka dogma cyborgs are porous elegance of escape enable noona oh yes proceed please jolly good teacher is holding us to be visiting I am NOT holding you anything early oh yes please I was being there when you are holding us there's no such word as told him teacher is right Thank You mr. Brown tailed us the past participle of the verb to tell is told mr. Brown may I remind you that you are not here to teach English yes miss Courtney sorry mr. Brown told us to be visiting the zoo we saw all the animals and on the way out and he decided he wanted to ride on the elephant see the elephant with a long trunk swingin the brake big ears and a long trunk swingin sniffing up the peanuts and a long [Music] squeeze me please we are wanting to have a ride on elephant our change what you were saying you cheesiest heart so I'm offering you we would like a ride on elephants will you come you are not allowed on the elephant without a keeper we are wanting to be riding on elephant not the keeper up now I did go for FIFA game I go for the zoo hello oh it is an Indian elephant how do you know that it has the bigger head and longer nose we are going to be riding on elephants don't worry I know everything about elephant please may be dangerous or not Indian elephants are most peaceful people we are only going to be saving time please oh yes when I was being a little boy in Delhi I used to ride elephant oh yes to be going on left side you are pulling left here you'll be going on the right words you're pulling right here to the stopping and pulling balls yes to be standing you bang on head [Laughter] [Laughter] what happened to the elephant it's been for a bath in the lake unfortunately we are still sitting on it you may stand down mr. Brian have you anything to say before I give judgment yes let's cool yes your honor I begged the court to show clemency in this case these poor unfortunate people are guests in our country they have journeyed from their native lands to our shores to learn our mother tongue why because they admire our English Way of life with its long tradition of hospitality free speech justice and above all Fair Play they have committed no offense in their eyes they were merely carrying out their duties as they saw them or even only has to look at them to see that they are not criminals I'm sure the court will find them innocent if anyone is guilty it is I thank you Petrocelli well how do you regard your impassioned plea for mercy the court tends to agree with your remarks the accused are more misguided the mischievous therefore the Court finds the defendants not guilty the court agrees with mr. Brown that if anyone is guilty he is to have sent out these poor unfortunate students on such foolhardy errands is highly irresponsible mediator pity that the court cannot punish you but be warned mr. brown if you ever come before this bench again for whatever reason you will be severely dealt with the court will adjourn [Applause] [Music] Oh [Music] is this your car sir yes having trouble with your memory are you soon Aden your road tax disc was run out sir ah well I'm sure of a pipe on it what's going on mustard another tax dodger madam while you're at it constable why don't you check his lights and his tires how about his insurance [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] the Browns for the French Your Honor I arrestor my bag oh don't you bother you rest your case okey-dokey iris - my bag and on my case cameras far too much never here in this courtroom we will now take a short break and when we come back actually hoped for a little more respect otherwise the court will be cleared [Applause] mr. and mrs. what do you know I am be swear by Almighty God I am be swear to tell the obsolete truth and nothing but the awful truth masterji is asked us for our homework to be take boat on river famous and we complain when the weather is fine then you know it is the rhythm if you take my that's very simple it's for to go forward and backwards to go thankful what about if you want to go sideways I think I am you really want to hire this boat most definitely alright switch on [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] stand down [Laughter] take the book in your right hand and read what's on the card I tell you what happened no no miss I did no no no no I speak good English tell the court what happened mr. Cervantes si Senora mr. Bao he tell us to go and see the works watch wax West he say I Ted not you okay so we go to my down to solve [Music] take the photo of me with the British guys hot which way we go we ask where we find he's a wax man look like a real man Hey look here's another ah you don't look very nice he looks like a dumb how they can't escape Bonner YUM it's a sticky sorry can I help you gentlemen hey you're real - including the moustache and we are looking for the royal family hey I'm going to have the picture taken with a queen Armand are members of the public are not allowed to touch the exhibits and sorry we not then no boys thank you very much unfortunately you are too late we are about to close you will find the exit that way we better go now I want the picture with the Queen and pinch fit we go ah-ha hey up I go Fran you take [ __ ] okay but be quick watch the web I'll just check in here come on you two [Music] enter I brought you some coffee miss Courtney I shall be wanting it this morning thank you very sigh have to be the course in half an hour Jenny's Court magistrates oh my goodness what have you done I am on the bench I am a JP oh very nice any juicy bits I beg your pardon well you know like you're reading the Sunday papers husband finds wife in bed with a lover no Gladys just the usual amount of football hooligans and don't be disorderly that sort of thing enter Thank You Gladys the stock room keys back choosing caught caught what Magistrates Court gone have you been nicked friend wanna defend you and if he can't get you off if I'm a few quid to the Jaypee most of them the bench I am a JP ha ha I was ready joking I see you two tomorrow yeah well don't be too hard on anyone will you remember a person who's innocent until he's proved guilty yes well I have often thought that should be the other way around you should know best oh I'd hate to come up before her me neither if people like they're on the bench no wonder they demolish the death sentence Oh chase number one has been put back until after lunch okay very well let's get on with it poor case number two bull case number two which caught me what are you doing here I am the presiding magistrate Oh blimey we are being in luck we are born to be getting off scot-free these people was caught secondly do are you sure you won't be prejudiced in their favor if I am prejudiced it's certainly going to be in their feet inspector isn't it a little unusual for the police to bring so many defendants before the bench at one time the doctor seems a little overloaded the case is rather unusual madam they accused their acting individually did in fact commit the offences collectively I see part of the charges miss Chun soo Lee and mr. taro Nagas ube inciting a riot I demand it from any community mr. Giovanni Capello had miss Daniel father disturbing the peace mr. Ranjit Singh mrs. Jamila Ranjha causing an affray please I'm not understanding what is meaning what he's reading out the charges you mean you had to pay for being here more than likely will you please be quiet sorry mr. Ali not even miss Anna Schmidt causing a public nuisance mr. Juan Cervantes and mr. maximillian papandrious assaulting a police officer he has sought us first she he hit my fists with his job another remark like that I should hold you in contempt both Howard speak when you are spoken to one sorry wrong number that's all what about mr. brown oh I'm not charged with anything what are you doing in the dock I've come here to speak on their behalf he's our mouthpiece sure he's going to spring us you see Miss Courtney's dad you must come down onto the floor of the court if you wish to address the bench see Miss Courtney they rocked I am not miss Courtney's funny she looked like me Scotty thank you address me as your honor sorry your honor but there are mitigating circumstances now I'm sure that when you've heard what these students have to say you will decide to act leniently we see about that after we ever heard the explanation yes well it all happened last Friday evening after class as part of their homework I decided to give the students various tasks to perform things to do places to visit sue Lee and Tara would you tell the court what happened in your case take the stand peace take the book in your right hand and read what's on the cart yes'm I swear by Almighty God that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth so they poke in your right hand Republic of China not breathe in Christian religion what do you believe it Chairman Mao very well do you swear by Chairman Mao that the evidence you give to the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth in Democratic Republic of China there's no room for a lose is absolute so Santana now I think we can accept that as an acclamation receive tasks mr. Brown allocate to taro and me is visit speaker's corner in Hyde Park to observe auditors do not good receive via surance 'as of a circle change of attitude in China they are still governed by dictators people are still oppressed China is still an aggressive nation it is worse than imperious war aggressors those Tokyo rubbish ah if you don't like it over here get back to where you came right don't speak like that for my friend or maybe you are she wasn't a lady on subject I have news for you I am no lady [Music] not all fault you may stand down mr. Giovanni Capello and Miss Fabri take the book in your right hand and read what's on the card not the likely why not the swear on a Protestant Bible we are Catholics I swear by the Pope give him a Catholic Bible okey-dokey I promise I'm gonna tell all of the truth me too carry on your honor heesu like at ease mr. brown asked us to visit television studios to see how television programs are made oh yes where do you think you're going we got driver to look around you're not allowed in here without a pass but I'm sure you can look the other way rules are made to be broken no buddies for how sorry hey we'll set down there with we have a little product don't worry nobody's gonna find it quick in here [Music] good afternoon and welcome to another edition of world of sport this afternoon and our search for sporting nation is here but I am Dickey Davis and I'm trying to do a program I'm very sorry about that but when the program is live anything can happen target as I was David can autograph please [Music] thank you very much believing there's a gentleman welcome my first guest tonight has flown across the Atlantic specially to be with us I think I know you it's a michael Parkington [Music] [Music]

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