TJ Dillashaw “I CHEATED” Failed Drug Test EPO


Chael Sonnen


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do anything you want to get off your chest anything I didn't cover anything I didn't ask you hope goals dreams secrets what's all a secret I don't have any mini gossip I mean yeah other than myself really you know okay um I don't know I guess are we doing that are we doing this I mean is this happening if you guys got the timing we got the time yeah I wouldn't get to do it I know you weren't I don't you were but it's kind of like dolphin in the room you don't mean and it's Ben's I've I mean I'm in I'd say the darkest time of my life as well as the best right like I said I have a 17 month old son um and that's been a great distraction for me thank goodness room you know because it's been tough man it's been tough for me to be downstairs with Juan and show my face you know it's it's a tough go what's that tough to walk into that press conference yesterday yeah of course of course I mean I've I've hidden out haven't done any interviews I haven't done you know I'm just kind of hidden away from me and I'm even I there's things I've wanted to say that I didn't because I don't want to create excuses or let's start off first and foremost I cheated right I just so I don't want to run around that that's why even I announced it when you saw I was coming out like I didn't want to like create excuses was like look this is what this is it I did it I want to be upfront with you guys this is you know and I don't want to creating excuses of why I did it I knew eventually I would talk about it and this and this is nice the person I have um you know I I did say I was so into doing something that has never been done before you know not the to chance I obviously I wanted that more than anything I wanted to prove I'm the best in the world but was also to drop that weight class you know I'm a lean 1:35 er I wanted to drop the way they cost about 125 and I played it off on how easy was gonna be you know I can do it no problem you know I did this I've always cut weight and I push my body to the extreme you know about six weeks out my body started to crash it started to get tired I started feeling feeling that I didn't want to wake up for practice you know or my hematocrit was crashing I test everything I test my I just might my hair for toxins I test my saliva for my hormone levels I want to be the most optimal eater possibly can and I started crashing and I I test my hematocrit um I was down in the 30s which I normally walk around like a 4 to 5 you know very loved um and so I was down in the 30s high 30s but you know on the verge of coming and becoming anemic I decided to take something I knew I wasn't allowed to take it's called Procrit it is a anemia medication that would you know help me not only make the weight but be myself and you know I I'm not mad I did it because I don't think I could have taken the fight I'm obviously gonna own up that I cheated I got caught it's a rough one man it's it's it's hard not to not to hate yourself a little bit you know yeah - uh I don't know I know it's it's a tough part may I ask you a couple of questions yes okay well certainly the reaction of the community took you on a roller coaster - right yeah it started with the haters no but then it kind of went back I mean it Cub Swanson came out he made one statement about it and he said TJ we forgive you yeah and a couple of other guys said that too they go hey guys quick kick and Dillashaw he manned up about it many people have been through this but he admitted to it let him go and that chorus began as well but there's got to be where you want I hear what you said I can just relate in case I have any new in the same boat same same stubbornness I don't know if you know that procreate yeah when you say Pro I know exactly with that active ingredient EPO Epogen an EPO yeah so I get that fully and yeah I remember having to suck it up put a smile on my face and act and it was tough for sure and there are people that look and whether they're whispers or you feel they're whispers it's the same anxiety man and it hurts for sure and you know what else hurts when you know you're earned it yeah yeah when you know you earned it yeah yeah and well I think even what hurts even more is my wife having to deal with it my coaches that had no idea that they're definitely deal with it you know like Sam calivita got so much backlash because obviously he's my strength Michigan coach he does all this testing email this shit I wasn't gonna bring this to him this is something that I decided to do on my own you know I trusted in the wrong people I wanted something so bad that I was one to make in the real shitty part I'm an again I'm not creating excuse I locked up I did it right is the fact that I never took my body to anything they was unnormal like I said I walk around about a 45 the highest I ever got my home Attic hurt back to was 46 you know wasn't like I was was was was above unnatural levels the highest a human body can even go naturally is 50 you know I see you down here people give him one Archuleta the I because they joke they not drug tested and they made him do all those levels in his hematocrit at 48 and so like I'll make sure drug test that guy you know obviously he's in my drawer so they're gonna want a drug test him but that's because he trains hard we knew we oughta training all these things so hey that's that's one that really stings is that I mean I she did whatever I you know like I I gotta get I gotta get past it it's gonna be tough and III understand people that are gonna really kill me for thinking that I did in the past all this stuff but I get I deserve that for taking taking that on but his let everyone know that this is a one fight thing you know I mean in fact I remember going back and I was getting email off email saying that like you saw us testing you saw us testing you saw us testing but it was all my previous test you know they tested I went back before the linacre fight and obviously I brought a lot of tension on myself by feeling this drug test and so they ran through all my B samples to test them all and divinsky came out and said that we tested him for all EPO and all his tests you know and so I think that's the one thing I want to make sure to get out there is it you know this isn't and I'll have to come back and prove myself sure it'll be a big one too I believe you I've known you long I can tell I can tell you telling the truth right now yeah and I and I know what you're gonna what you're trying to process as well we go well sometimes the truth doesn't make me this evil scumbag that everybody really wants me to be so if I tell the truth and I don't look like an evil scum then they're gonna say I'm lying about right there's it's a no-win I get it from a PR standpoint from just two dudes that can trust each other with each other's checkbooks yeah that's it right there which I believe you yeah and you did make a mistake I get it and I've been there and there's plenty of the people making that Spacek right now not being kind of course some of them are even pointing fingers at you know how do you know they are for sure ya know that's one thing I've said that about cheaters before we always know our own yeah we always know our own and maybe we don't say it but we know we can look at somebody I came through the testosterone era we you did not but testosterone would specifically do two things - I could recognize I knew cuz it happened to me so I can always spot my own and when I would hear them do interviews and put guys down or sometimes to me directly point a finger I said dude I know your secret yeah I had go same I know you're sick mine I I know your secret yes I would never say I didn't take it right on the chin and just never say it I'd never say it and I think some people people are gonna have some fun of your expensive course they are Danny's gonna blow it's gonna blow yeah I mean and I I know it's gonna last in CBI shit but guess why that's what's gonna let's go - this is gonna I mean I made the decision sure there's no going back from it but I got like I said I got thick skin I've learned you have even thicker skin throughout my fighting career now and I will come back and I will be champion again I will make you that promise and and not because of the fact I need to prove myself to everyone else but because I want to do it for me and my family you know like I said that's probably the hardest thing is that my family's had to deal with this and my coaches have had to deal with this and I want to do it for them as well - man when you have I feel like not only hunger for yourself but for other people then you care about it's a very powerful thing so ok did you get one year or did you get two years what is your suspension I got - you got two years so that goes retroactive to January ok so we have one okay oh that's when you're about alright yeah I have to tell you if you don't mind but when I got my suspension exact same thing two years exact mean parallel I'm telling you that God I'm not sure that you do remember it and maybe that's good news it passes fast but teacher I did I made one mistake for me two years was just forever two years was never gonna come I'm suspended forever I'll never be had a suspension I remember going into high school and thinking that by the way four years I'm gonna be at high school forever I remember that but I did learn those lessons I forgot him in those two years I didn't feel I used it that wisely I did feel when I would go to practice I need to work harder and I used to work harder but I'm gonna save that for when it's closer to two years up I'm just gonna do this today well those days turned awake to her before I know time off suspension and I'm just simply not ready to go and I offer you that story just because I know that you want to be champion I could see it in your eye when I brought up names like Dominick Cruz when I said uriah Faber's back and you said boy I hope you I hope he's still back yeah I could see that I don't I don't want you to make those same mistakes so let me just ask you until 21 what is it you're gonna do physically what is it you're going to do you know something that's always been burning me as growing up for my family my mom's like everything always happens for a reason you know and why are these effed up things happen you know I'm gonna spin into the most positive way I possibly can I'm gonna get both my shoulders done you know I've been needing shoulder surgery for the last two and a half three years I blew my shoulder out coach longtime fighter dumb enough doing the coach's challenge what was the challenge that got you by the way I watched you playing no we were playing a tetherball on a balance yes on about right and if you fall in the water you got to get up and keep playing so I went to go catch myself as those falling off and dislocated my show yet the comeback win though I won yes came back and walked in and now it's started short interrupts your story oh it's perfect man is perfect so I've been needing surgery on him for a long time but I couldn't afford to get surgery then because I was fighting Cody Garber and I didn't have the bill I couldn't say like oh I'm injured but I can't fight I was like I got to take this fight so I wouldn't got stem cells did whatever I possibly could rehabbed it and cut in casing and concrete just build as much muscle as I could around it right but it's inevitable I've been waiting for the time bill to get surgery big title fight after big cut off a big title fight I was like I'll do it next time maybe I'll be late or maybe later but now I'm out for two years so I got to take advantage of it I had surgery on my right shoulder nine weeks ago like I said I'm getting my left one done here in two weeks um you know when we do a lot of physical therapy it's gonna be really nice to be able to come back healthy the last fights I've gone into I've always had this thing in the back of my head that I can't wrestle you know I did a lot of reco with Daryl so that I can get in these positions that I wanted to don't Christian you know to court to be able to stay in these positions I wanted to stay in because I couldn't get in the big shots and get underneath something because my shoulder would dislocate so it was something in the back of my head that I'm gonna be a striker you know it'd be nice to be able to bill use my full a full game and so now it's gonna be nice people to come back and be healthy you know um take these two years off spinning with my son drain my ass off get my shoulders healthy and live this life this is crazy life Peter that's a fantastic attitude this this interview actually I might make this win in some directions I was not planning to do I am NOT a journalist so I do not need to bring you in here and discuss what you've got the elephant in the room I don't have to do the arrow hewan II would have to Josh close what happened I can get away with having like that's why I walking like it's like it's out there I can I can do that but this was this was a lot of courage and this was not pre-planned by you and I quite literally was a shoot with our audience right here that I saw you yesterday from afar while doing an interview I sent you a text message and you said yes yeah we have not spoken until you walked in this room put the mic on and Cambridge oh so I really appreciate that kirusha but you know you did get some real insight there because I did I am a fan man I am a TJ Dillashaw a fan and I have wondered is he gonna come back oh yeah or is he gonna fall in the same mistake that many have and I happen to be one of them up two years is just too far out yeah and so I'm having to use I'd like a comeback story I love who doesn't like a good cop who doesn't love a good comeback story you know love me or hate me a great comeback well and you're such a nice guy but you are public enemy number one you were come back you'll I think I'm dressed in all black believe me five guys saying come on in yeah we've been waiting for you good you