The Dick Van Dyke Show S01E02 My Blonde Haired Brunette

Dick Van Dyke Show [Music] good morning darling father sun is shining come on honey let's get an early start nah honey hey don't do that lucky to do that my prince charming Alice to slay dragons for Lee won't even get up to have breakfast with me on his day off well I guess it's natural for us to me behave this way after feminine in his marriage but I still feel like it in breakfast with him what if he's getting tired of me I never noticed these lines before maybe he has oh I do we're not married that long ah are you free want to breakfast with me what time is it well after nine how much Esther a minute Wow don't you want to help breakfast with me or do I have to know you don't have to if you'd rather just lie there oh yeah would well I guess I'll just have to have breakfast alone again wait for me honey I'll eat with you when in two hours Rob if I wait till eleven are faint good idea oh right honey would you pull a curtain those lights in my eye mama you want to sleep all day no just so 11 honey wake me at eleven honey honey honey thanks let me please all those extra two hours sleep really set me up the claims you get up oh well I've been up since seven well then you've had your breakfast waited for you well you must be starving honey how'd you do that it's easy that set the alarm they had two hours good idea you mean I didn't get those extra two hours sleep no well uh how much extra sleep that I guess about seven seconds hi Rob you had eight hours no but that was last night like to get a couple hours in the morning wine honey on my old lady thank you I said how's my old lady well I don't know I haven't spoken to your mother lately but I'm fine Jay honey there's tips and seeds of flesh and it's orange juice you know how much ticket as I am about my orange flesh not gonna pick euless about the way you dress are you high don't you look dashing well I think you might do a gray hair so congratulations today you're a woman here you want to press it in the book of heavy bronze we want your breakfast now sure honey are you angry with me for something what makes you think that makes me think that I've been joking around with you you haven't been joking back you mean I'm not my usual present self honey are you winning even with me because they don't have breakfast with you no I'm not you're not angry no I am NOT angry really you haven't got in there why don't know it's my almighty night I think I'll go back and start the whole day over again why you mad at you might do something a little less formal to wear this is my day off outfit that's it you're angry with me because way I'm dressed well do you like the way you look you look pretty yucky at that I'm sorry honey I'll go in and change no no you don't have to change on my account who's the count am I gonna change you I can see how yogi I look well I can honey don't you care that i can see you looking this way excuse me well I know honey you always told me before I look cute when I'm sloppy you don't look cute look like someone who doesn't care if we're doesn't care of what well if I walked around like data I mean if a husband really cares about well all I know is that it's well it's a bloom is off the rose and it's to marry people camp well then i say what before you try to say just don't care don't care about what well if you don't know what you don't care about that I'm certainly not going to send you lily I don't know what you just did I don't know what you're so upset about I know it has to do with my sleep and weight and my general yuckiness honey I don't like to see you this way now there anything I can do yes you'll need your hang honey oh you can do to stop playing I'll meet my eggs what's an eye with you Mara we've been addressing envelopes for an hour now and all you can say is haha hmm are you all very I'm fine everything alright with you and Rob why do you ask that oh why don't know you've noticed something between us haven't you no not at all i get down le you did notice something now didn't you well I'm noticing it now what's happened Oh Millie I've seen it happen to other married couple but I just never thought I'd see it happen to rob and me I mean this that Rob that might fit what that my own husband would what come on red you're making me nervous what happen yes hey are you in the head oh god why are you showing me can't you see the gray hair gray hair where I don't see any gray hair well it was there yesterday Rob pulls one out Oh Millie I'm getting old oh come on Laura one gray hair isn't going to make you old yeah well it's not just gray hair Rob the whole attitude toward me if you stuff that what you mean these guys defended it used to be no he's not he doesn't look at me the same way used to either so why should he he's got to memorize regret it yeah that's good for granted everything in our lives is just too for granted we eat you know exactly what the other is going to sing can do that's just on any more surprises left well you have to make them well how do you do that well whenever Jerry starts taking me for granted I have a simple remedy what I just bleach my hair you bleach your hair uh-huh it's amazing what happens Jerry welfare at me is always looking at a whole new lady to get very affectionate nearly do you think that if I breach my hair that no I couldn't why not well I don't think Robert approve of me as a blonde how does he feel about Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot Nellie I'll do it [Music] hi part 3 2 1 0 0 we did it what would you we wasted a whole day big scoop you how to wake me up had a beautiful dream I can go home and finish it not this one my wife wouldn't let me bring it in the house look you guys if you want to call it a day go home Rob I'm here to work if you want to work let's work we're doing your nail that because you had a date well as a matter of fact I have but it's a it's a kind of a day where it's better if I show up a little late like two or three days I want to know I wonder what happen autos prospecting bridegroom just hanging around here mr. LaRocca as doubting Charlie out in Charlie yeah he keeps proposing and I keep saying yes but he just won't believe me hammer on with that yet kind of an ear like this not funny no you okay we would roll blimp I damn 10 glimcher he's got another problem yeah you got a name problem to see would roll his mother wants him to wait a little while he doesn't want him to get married in July into old who's a lucky little gent tonight Harmon loserman please let's not talk about him before dinner where'd you meet this Herman woodrows mother introduced it come on Sal what's he like Herman yeah Wow Herman is black well Herman laughs I think I know him we gonna get the work done around look gang going home with I'm sorry I've been such a big drag today yeah you know you're having a drag what somebody is sick or something mom look sick don't you know our chief well enough by now when he think he worked harder when he broods it's one of two things one he had a fight with Laura or two Laura had a fight with him throw up all true well what was it be per box I don't know we didn't fight long enough for me to find out oh one of those in as you don't know I'm certainly not gonna tell you hey Rob did he give you a hint well she was about to at one point and she's further cry oh this kid is in trouble Allah wants to do like I do yeah what'd you do I key does what do you do I just looked on my list of all the things that wise get upset about good thinking no I've been doing that all day buddy it hasn't got me anywhere well maybe your list isn't as full as mine along are you married the longer the list hey how about jealousy nah I tried that it couldn't be jealousy Laura doesn't cry when she jealousy just a third smile smiles yeah like this again so did your mother-in-law lately no I love my mother-in-law I never and solar that's just did you neglect in the old back we got installed them are they stick you don't care you know there's an education I remember the support was mother ever proposal how about Freddie's prism yeah like your special occasion or like what birthday anniversary of Valentine's Day Mother's Day Bastille Day Russia shona separate bastille day in rosh hashanah I think I'm old squared away did you take the garbage out every night more importantly get taking her out no muss as often as the garbage Rob have you told her how pretty she is a man that you love her so much you just can't work oh so you're kidding but you know something I think you might have hit it you know I can't remember the last time I told her I loved her see Sally is right listen the worst thing that can happen to a woman is that she go out on a date with one unpolished fingernails hey listen to you thanks a lot I'm sorry it's been such an unproductive day I mean unproductive I get in a beautiful eight hours sleep I got my nails done and saved you marriage I think it's been a beautiful day here's your hotel now Samuel oh wait down oh honey Rob it's milly moris in the other room to commit now get her Maura it's rob mari you're being foolish she'll be with you in a minute you look beautiful I disagree but even if you do he can't see you on the phone lily I know why I ever let you talk me into it I can't stand the way I look Robert you see hello Rob why what did you say sing that again little bit of you insist I dreamed of Laura with the dark brown hair my hair I didn't say anything below then why be thinking about my dark brown hair I don't know what took the coincident honey what's going on there oh nothing darling nothing no he just asked me a question uh what you cry about well nothing really well you just call this thing about my hair no actually I call to tell you i love you and I'd like to be your friend again well you didn't crawl about my hair then we're gonna call a boxer here why would I do that well I don't know I pick up the phone and there you are singing about my dark brown hair I mean Rob do you really like my hair I mean really like my hair honey I love your hair well honey what if i were a blonde would i be is attractive to you if I were a blonde oh I can't picture you as a blonde honey no wait a minute yes I can look like who are bowl or not the considering reaching your hair are you oh no I'm not considering that don't you dare I married a brunette honey I wanted a blonde I could have married Brigitte Bardot or Marilyn Monroe look honey I'll be home in less than an hour to take my brown haired beauty to dinner you know saw him please well I I am honey i'm very pleased it's just that i don't think i can go well it's my hair yes i know what's the matter honey but you'll get it looking fine you always do no it's just well I camp loaded and I don't think it'll be dry in time honey so you go ahead to the restaurant and I'll meet you there in a bit tell them to take it a guy back about an hour but why do you magis in about an hour so don't come home will you please calm down it's just dinner what are you so excited about well I'm just excited about going out to dinner with you I'll be home in less than an hour and i'm on my way by no no Rob broccoli Oh Millie you've got less than an hour to turn me back into a brunette well why I roster you this way because I look like hallmark all right but I don't know if I can do it in an hour you could I know but I just remembered I don't have your shade and spot I use it all up on myself last week what are you doing I'll have to call the drugstore well how long will it take until I'm finished darling the Russian hello hello how fast can you get a bottle of number three brown hair coloring to 148 body meadow road it's an emergency oh is this a rib it's no r is is that you fill know it's a little helper Oh helping yet fine not not not now don't get excited to get it on with you as fast as I can come on [Music] all right rich is everybody oh goodness all right I'll tell you what here is a tip for you hey did you bring me anything Gary rich i just gave you the baseball cards where's your mommy calories Oh coloring oh hi don't go in there huh you were playing the bedroom weren't you well yeah why well don't we're in there yes he is they were urine and they definitely a well no she's all I know is I'm her husband if anything's happened Laura Rob trust me go away and come back in an hour I will not what are you all right don't come in why not because this is getting ridiculous Laura are you all right you go away and come back in one hour I'm not going to win come back at any hour now please Millie let's pay you till I find out what this is a Laura Laura this is my house you're my wife and this is my door let me in there Laura woman I'm serious or I listen to the tone of my voice now you know this home don't you well I am NOT a violent man but unless you're out over the time I count three I'm gonna bust this door down well I'm serious 12 let's go to your room Alex your baseball cards I am I gonna bust the door down what's that door do where was I one thank you one two three [Music] what is that you're in your hair blonde we're not [Music] [Music] I think Danny after dinner and finish the job why good night son oh come on you're gonna be proud yes it certainly is oh you think Mama's prettier with brown hair too no I think he's pretty yellow well then why are you so happy about her turning brown again because I don't want her to look prettier I wanted to look like mom [Music] [Applause] [Music]