The Queer Sex Ed You Wish You Had In High School

Author:

BuzzFeed Multiplayer

Keywords:

medical,doctors,nurse,professional,education,school,high school,queer,LGBT,LGBTQIA,gay,lesbian,bisexual,transgender,questioning,intersex,asexual,normal,consent,STI,partner,safe,unsafe,mental,relationship,heteronormative,inclusive,diversity,video,BuzzFeed,buzzfeedblue,sex education,sex ed

Subtitles:
(upbeat music) - I'm Nick Gorton. - My name's Katie Gibson. - And my name is Dawn Harbatkin. (upbeat music) - [Inquirer] If you're a cis woman and you're having sex with another cis woman, do you still need protection? - Yes, you absolutely need to be using protection. - Dental dams are one of the best ways that we can use to protect in some types of sexual contact. - [Inquirer] Is anal sex unsafe? - When people have anal sex there is more risk for trauma. There is more risk for tearing. - You can have a higher transmission of some STDs, but those can be decreased by using protection and by using lubricants. - [Inquirer] Is sex still considered sex if it's not between a penis and a vagina? - Sex is whatever you want it to be. - Sex and sexuality are really about this broader experience and don't have to involve just a penis and a vagina. - Sex is contact that you feel is sexual for you. - [Inquirer] What does it mean to lose my virginity, though? - The real definition of losing your virginity was really about a social construct where men were in control and owned women and this is a way to make sure that a woman was truly pure. - Virginity was, like, penetration of a penis and a vagina, but, like, for a lot of people especially for people who don't want to have that kind of sex, like, it's clearly not useful to define it in that way. - It is really a thing that people need to define for themselves about what it means to lose your virginity. - [Inquirer] If I'm in a queer relationship, do I still need to talk about consent with my partner? - Consent's probably as important, if not more important than thinking about sexually transmitted infections and preventing pregnancy. - And it's also a good part of how you figure out how to protect yourself from the risks of sex while still getting the benefits. - And so talking about consent is incredibly important regardless of who your partner is. - They're not easy conversations to have, especially when you're young and you're still developing some type of sense of self. - [Inquirer] What's the best way to ask if someone has an STI? - I go and get tested regularly, do you get tested? And have you ever tested positive for any STDs? If so, I just want to know what they are ahead of time so we can protect ourselves efficiently. In reality, if you have an STD, you have a responsibility to yourself and to your partner to disclose that. - If you can't talk to your partner about sex and sexuality, you probably shouldn't be having sex with them. - And it doesn't have to get in the way of you having sex, it just effects the protection that you need to have and sometimes the timing of your sex as well. - We still operate from a very hetero-normative perspective. - I think that if we included more information about consent and about what's good about sex, I think students would find it more approachable, exciting and interesting to talk about and I think if it was more accessible to talk about sex, maybe those conversations wouldn't feel like such a big deal. (upbeat music)

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