The Simple Trick That Will Reveal Your Soulmate

hey 42 here there is a soulmate for everyone somewhere out there on our vast blue planet there is a single person who is your perfect over half it doesn't matter if you have the face of a sea cucumber and the personality of a cabbage there is someone out there who will love you for who you are and fall into a lifetime of eternal undying love at least that is what Hollywood movies poetry and endless novels would have you believe and what billions of people genuinely think but what's the truth what is the real science behind soulmates and love at first sight do soulmates that she exists is a soulmate as a social phenomenon actually possible let's find out once and for all and whether your love interest is meant to be or whether there's something more rational going on behind the scenes what you're about to learn will change how you look at love forever you have been warned but first a quick word about today's sponsor footmouse do you still play video games with your hands well you're 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before we discover whether soul mates actually exist and I reveal a secret formula for finding yours let me ask you a question what percentage of people do you think genuinely believe that soul mates exist as in there is one and only one perfect person out there for everyone take a wild guess is it 30% 40% 50% perhaps try 73% that's right research has found that a staggering 73% of Americans believe in soulmates that's higher than I would have thought but what really shocked me is that a slightly higher percentage of men believe in soulmates than women but did you know that whether or not you believe in soulmates effects you will approach relationships and how looking you will be in love and it all depends on your true love mindset when it comes to relationships there are two kinds of people those who have a destiny mindset and those with a growth mindset a destiny mindset means you believe in the inherent power of the universe or perhaps a deity to bring you and your true love together essentially you believe in soulmates on the other hand those with a growth mindset believe are strong evergreen relationship is not just found it has to be worked on over time and built up from nothing they also believe that there are many more than just one potential mate for everyone out there those with a destiny mindset tend to be more impulsive and passionate they fall into relationships easier and when they do the initial period is always fiery intimate and intense but these relationships can fall apart just as easily destiny inclined mindsets tend to be much more put off by their partners faults they view any faults big or small as an indication that they are perhaps not their soulmate because well a true soulmate wouldn't have any faults would they if there are any signs that a relationship doesn't fall neatly into their preconceived idea of what their romantic destiny should be then they usually end the relationship as a result those with a destiny mindset go through more relationships during their lifetime which is somewhat ironic and even more ironically one study actually found that couples in a relationship who both have a destiny mindset and genuinely believe they are made for one another are according to the statistics unhappy in that relationship much more off those with a growth mindset however do things in the complete opposite way once they have found someone they are romantically inclined towards they will work at building a relationship with that person if hiccups do occur they are much more likely to work to solve them and when they encounter things they don't like about their partner that usually learn to love it or accept it as a part of a healthy relationship because every single relationship does have issues there are always those quirks about our partners that we initially find cute but after a while a annoy the shit out of us that's entirely normal and it depends on your mindset destiny or growth whether you will Bend that partner once those quirks begin to annoy you growth mindsets have longer and more stable relationships than destiny mindsets a growth mindset to go through fewer partners before permanently settling down they also work harder a relationships for example they do more to appease or accommodates their partner's needs whereas destiny mindsets typically do the opposite because they assume if it's meant to be then things will work themselves out naturally anyway without putting in the hard work so before we shortly ruin romantic novels forever and discuss the science behind soulmates let's see if there are any scraps of evidence to prove that they in fact do exist for the sake of clarity I'm defining a soulmate as there being only one person in the world who is in every way perfect for another individual well the only way one could attempt to prove the idea of a soulmate is by approaching it from either a philosophical or spiritual angle with current technology it's not possible to definitively quantify whether a person is without any doubt a person's soul mate because to do that we would have to computationally model those two people's personalities memories and ambitions for the future essentially we would have to download their brains then we would have to somehow create an algorithm that takes those two models and outputs a romantic suitability score which would be exceedingly difficult because how one defines romantic suitability differs vastly based on opinions and cultures but even that wouldn't be enough because once we have that score it's completely meaningless without something to compare it against such as a standardized mean of all potential scores so Dave and Susie may have a romantic suitability score of five point six okay is that good but high blow about average since a person's soul mate could be anyone we would have to create a computer model of every single person in the world or at least every person who is to test subjects preferred to gender and within a reasonably similar age range then we would have to run our algorithm against every single one of those person's brain models which could easily be anywhere from half a billion to two billion people then we could compare the results and whichever person has the highest suitability score with the initial test subject would be that person's one and only soulmate obviously this is completely impossible today perhaps in ten or so years when we have the technology to easily create computer models from people's brains and we have the unfathomably huge computational power required to store and process all of those models such an experiment could become reality I envision that one day you may be able to pay a company to do exactly that for you perhaps through a dating app and work out which one person out of the entire world's population is scientifically most romantically suited to you like the map score currently on online dating sites but leveraging more than a trillion times more data and algorithmic might until that day comes we cannot scientifically prove that there will in fact be just one person who is perfect for each of us it may be the case that there are many potentially many thousands of equally suitable candidates out there so what does the maths have to say about soulmates well when broken down it gets really interesting in his fascinating book what if randall munroe does exactly that he took the question what if everyone actually had only one soulmate a random person somewhere in the world and answered it like so let's suppose you like eyes with an average of a few dozen new strangers each day if 10% of them are close to your age that's around 50,000 people in a lifetime given that you have 500 million potential soulmates it means you'll only find true love in one lifetime out of 10,000 so basically what he's saying is that mathematically if soulmates existed the chance of you meeting yours over your entire lifetime would be close to zero this means that if everyone were to agree to only procreate with their soulmate and settle for nothing less the vast majority would be so unsuccessful in this endeavor that the human race would die out in only a couple of generations so soulmates don't exist obviously mathematically they cannot in fact as a rough estimate less than 0.01% of people in relationships who claim to have found their one true soulmate actually have sorry but what if I told you there is a way you can actually find your soulmate in just a few months using a simple algorithm well such an algorithm exists and I'll tell you exactly how to use it shortly but first a quick but necessary segue on the mechanics of love usually people attempt to find their soul mate in a linear way which is incredibly inefficient typically we go on dates until we find someone suitable enough for a long-term relationship which usually breaks down after a few weeks or a few years get this the average relationship is only two years and nine months after a few relationships there may be a marriage but only half of all marriages are until death do us part this process can take decades before finding the one eventually most people after many duds and perhaps a failed marriage or to do finds that person they're happy enough to stay with for the remainder of their life if you think you're already in that position then congratulations but are they actually your soul mates I've talked about what love is in a previous video but to put it succinctly it's a neurochemical memory enhanced bond with another person formed after repeated exposure catalyzed by the release of hormones such as testosterone estrogen dopamine norepinephrine serotonin oxytocin and vasopressin and you thought I couldn't do dirty talk the fingers this chemical bonding process can occur with potentially millions of people multiple but similar studies have shown how two strangers staring into one another's eyes for four minutes can make them both feel as though they're in love there have even been some marriages off the back of such experiments so after your exhaustive dating relationship and breakup cycle how do you know the person that you eventually settle down with is the one well you don't it may sound cold the truth is you could have quite probably and rather comfortably settled down with at least thousands of other similar individuals sure you're happy and you're in love but how can you confidently say there is not someone else out there or multiple people who you'd have more in common with feel more comfortable around find more attractive and argue with less over the long term you can't or can you mathematicians have developed an algorithm to do exactly this find your soulmate or at least very close to your ideal partner in a fraction of the usual time like we talked about earlier using current technology there is no way to actually find your optimal partner as if every person alive there are just too many variables and too many people out there and realistically most people can only date between 50 to 100 people in a single lifetime but by using the following mathematical technique you can completely close to it and find someone at least 99 percent of the way to your perfect soul mate in well under 100 days however it's going to require you to be rather cold and not get sidetracked it goes like so first you date 10 people who you find mildly attractive and fit your basic criteria for a spouse after each date you reject them no matter how much you feel like they could be the one you simply say no thanks and move on then you rank all 10 dates and then you take the first person on that list your number one most preferred date and you simply remember them next you keep going on more dates and as soon as you go on a date with someone who outranks your number one from the first group of ten that is your soul mate at least that is the closest you can come to finding your soul mate in a single human lifetime with limited resources and limited time to go on a limited number of days mathematicians call this method optimal stopping theory and this is mathematically proven to be the optimal way to find your best available partner with the least amount of effort or wasted time so have fun out there and I won't be held responsible for any ruined relationships as a result of watching this video thanks for watching and don't forget to check out the sponsor rage Shadow legends