Tim Allen on Family RV Trip

>> Jimmy: YOU LOOK LIKE A PRIEST THAT'S COME OVER FOR DINNER. >> IS THAT HOW WE'RE GOING TO START? >> Jimmy: I'M SORRY. NO, YOU LOOK GOOD. >> I'M ON A GLUTEN ONLY DIET, GLUTEN, TRANSFAT AND PAPER CLIPS. >> Jimmy: THAT'S THE NEW THING IN HOLLYWOOD. ARE YOU IRISH OR A ST. PATRICK'S DAY TYPE OF CHARACTER? >> MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY IS ST. PADDY'S DAY. WE THOUGHT WE WERE IRISH. IT'S ONE OF THOSE DEALS. I TOOK MY FAMILY TO IRELAND, AND THEY SAID, WE THINK THAT FAMILY MIGHT BE GERMAN. WE WENT TO MUNICH. NO, YOU'RE PROBABLY SCOTTISH. FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK, I TOOK THE 23 AND ME THING. >> Jimmy: THE GENETIC TEST. >> DID THE SALIVA, WAITED THE WEEKS, AND IT TURNS OUT I'M 100% BLACK. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] WHAT A SURPRISE. IT TURNS OUT, THEY DON'T FAIL. I MIGHT HAVE ANSWERED A FEW QUESTIONS WRONG. >> Jimmy: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT. >> IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD FOR ME. >> Jimmy: ARE YOU ON BREAK FROM YOUR SHOW RIGHT NOW? >> I'M DOING YOUR SHOW. >> Jimmy: I KNOW TONIGHT YOU'RE HERE, BUT I MEAN, TOMORROW, FOR INSTANCE, WILL YOU BE WORKING? >> TUESDAY WE START OUR BIG HIATUS. >> Jimmy: HOW LONG ARE YOU OFF? >> OFF UNTIL JULY ABOUT 25th. >> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S GREAT. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? >> I WORK THE MIRAGE IN VEGAS, AND I'M DOING SOME CONCERTS AND THEN MY WIFE DECIDED FOR ONE OF HER BIRTHDAYS, THE BIG ONE, SHE SAYS, I WANT TO TAKE A TRIP IN A SEWAGE TRUCK. YOU CALL THEM RVs. >> Jimmy: SHE REALLY WANTS TO DO THAT? >> SHE WANTS TO TAKE AN RV TRIP. I SAID YES. SO I CUSTOMIZED AN RV, THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO DO. I BOUGHT THIS RV, CUSTOMIZED IT IN WISCONSIN. LONG STORY SHORT, THIS IS BASICALLY TAKING CARE OF YOUR FAMILY'S SEWER. THERE'S PIPES THAT TOUCH EXCREMENT FROM YOUR FAMILY. >> Jimmy: YOU HAVE TO GET IN THERE? >> AND DUMP IT. >> Jimmy: KIDS CAN'T DO THAT FOR YOU? >> JUST GO AT HOME. WHY DO WE WAIT UNTIL WE'RE IN A SMALL -- IT'S IN A TANK THAT I GOTTA DEAL WITH. YOU GO PLACES YOU DON'T WANT TO GO AND YOU PARK AND YOU LEVEL IT AND YOU COOK EGGS AND THEN -- >> Jimmy: DID YOU STAY AT AN RV PARK? >> YES! THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU STAY? WE'LL PULL INTO THE PENINSULA. GET OUT, LET'S GO TO THE HOTEL ROOM, AT LEAST WE DROVE DOWNTOWN. >> Jimmy: IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD TALK YOUR WIFE INTO. >> I LIKE THE MACHINE. I LIKE BOATS. SO -- BUT IT'S AN RV WITH A HOLE. EVERYBODY GETS ON THE BOAT AND TAKES A CRAP. WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? WHY DO YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE BOAT, WHERE IT'S A FLUSH AND THERE'S PROBLEMS. I'M BASICALLY JUST A MAID. >> Jimmy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY. >> VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT.

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