Tim Allen on Going to Donald Trumps Inauguration

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Jimmy Kimmel Live

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jimmy,kimmel,live,late,night,talk,show,funny,comedic,comedy,clip,comedian,tim,allen,inauguration,donald,trump,paranoia,security,cameras,spying,privacy,government

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FOR THIS BREAK. >> THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO. >> Jimmy: YOU WENT TO THE PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION? >> I WAS INVITED. WE WENT TO THE VETERANS BALL, I WENT TO SEE THE DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS. YEAH, I WENT TO THE INAUGURATION. >> Jimmy: I'M NOT ATTACKING YOU. >> I'M NOT KIDDING, YOU GOTTA BE REAL CAREFUL AROUND HERE, YOU GET BEAT UP IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE WHAT EVERYBODY BELIEVES, IT'S LIKE '30s GERMANY. IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE GROUP. YOU KNOW WHAT WE BELIEVE IS RIGHT. WELL, I MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT. I'M A COMEDIAN, I LIKE GOING ON BOTH SIDES. THIS GOVERNMENT DOES STUFF BIG. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. >> Jimmy: WAS IT A BIG DEAL? >> JUST SO MANY PEOPLE. AND WHEN THEY SHOW UP, THE EX-PRESIDENT GETS IN A HELICOPTER AND JETS AND MARINES TAKING HIM THIS WAY. BUT IT LOOKS LIKE A CADILLAC PARADE. JUST ROWS OF CADILLACS. MY KIDS WERE GOING, IS THIS THE PARADE? IT'S LIKE BLACK CADILLAC, BLACK CADILLAC, AND THEN A TRACTOR. THERE'S NO MARCHING BANDS. I USED TO LIKE PARADES. FUNNY OFF STORY, I TOOK MY LITTLE ONE. I'M NOT IGNORANT, BUT SOMETIMES I PLAY IT. WE WENT TO SEE THE SANTA MONICA PARADE DOWN ON SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD. THE GAY PARADE. WHEN THEY SAY GAY, I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE FLOATS AND STUFF. YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE A 5-YEAR-OLD TO THAT PARADE. LOOK AT THE MUSIC, IT'S A FIRE TRUCK WITH NAKED MEN ON IT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> Jimmy: THERE'S NO BULLWINKLE. >> GAY PRIDE PARADES HAVE A DIFFERENT TONE THAN DISNEY ON ICE PARADE. >> Jimmy: THERE'S NO ICE FOR ONE THING. >> THERE'S NO ICE. IT'S A LOT OF NUDE GUYS ON VEHICLES. IT'S HARD TO -- >> Jimmy: SO YOU DO STAND-UP, YOU GO AROUND, THE COUNTRY IS VERY DIVIDED. WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT? >> I HAVE BUDDIES IN THE SECURITY BUSINESS. I'M A TECH FREAK. I HAVE A GUY THAT'S -- HE ALWAYS HAS CELL PHONE BATTERIES THAT COME OUT. HE SAID, YOU PUT AN iPHONE DOWN, IN A WEEK, IT'S DEAD. I SAY, IT'S NOT REALLY OFF? NO, IT'S NEVER REALLY OFF. ONE DAY I WAS THINKING, IF A GOVERNMENT DROVE DOWN THE STREET WITH A GRAY SEDAN WITH A CAMERA ON IT, YOU'D BE RIOTING, BUT IF IT'S WHITE WITH EMOJIS AND GOOGLE ON IT, YAY, YOU'RE WAVING AT IT! THEY'RE TAKING PICTURES OF YOUR HOUSE! >> Jimmy: THAT'S A POINT. >> YOU'RE WAVING AT IT. TAKE A PICTURE OF MY HOUSE FROM THE SKY! THERE'S THAT CAMERA THAT LOOKS AROUND YOUR BLOCK. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? I WANTED TO PUT F.U. ON THE TOP OF MY HOUSE. HAVE THAT SATELLITE GO, OH, NO, NO. >> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER SEARCHED FOR YOUR OWN HOUSE? >> HELL YEAH. I'M OUT THERE GOING LIKE THIS. >> Jimmy: I DID IT TOO AND I'M LIKE, HEY, THERE'S MY CAR. >> IT'S A LITTLE SPOOKY. OUR PRIVACY, YOU GIVE UP. I LIKE AMAZON PRIME AS MUCH AS ANYBODY. YOU SHOP FOR A LOT. I WISH PEOPLE WOULD SHOP FOR THE NEWS AS MUCH AS WE SHOP FOR A NEW PAIR OF GLASSES. BUT AMAZON, AT THE BOTTOM, THEY SUGGEST THINGS YOU MIGHT LIKE. YOU MEAN LIKE THE STUFF I JUST BOUGHT YESTERDAY? WHY DO THEY -- THEY KNOW WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT US. >> Jimmy: I FEEL SOMETIMES THEY SEND THINGS TO MY HOME THAT I NEVER ORDERED. >> JUST TO SEE IF YOU'D LIKE IT. >> Jimmy: AND I ALWAYS LIKE IT. IT'S A WEIRD THING. SOME AUTOMATIC THING THAT'S GOING ON. >> THIS WAS A RELATIONAL DATABASE. IT WAS THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN 19 YEARS AGO, THEY STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. GIVE YOU TEN OF YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES AND YOU GO, I LIKE THESE FIVE. TO WHAT DEGREE DO YOU LIKE THEM? THEN THEY GAVE YOU 20 MORE AND 30 AND GET DOWN TO TEN. THEN THEY GAVE YOU FIVE FILMS WHAT YOU'D LOVE, AND I LOVED EVERY ONE OF THEM. THEY SOLD THAT. >> Jimmy: REALLY? >> ONCE THEY KNOW YOUR PREFERENCES -- >> Jimmy: SOMETIMES I GET IN MY NETFLIX CUE AND I GO, OH, I'M AN IDIOT. >> BECAUSE IT SUGGESTS DUMB STUFF. >> Jimmy: YEAH. I AM AN IDIOT. [ LAUGHTER ] IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. WHERE WILL YOU BE DOING SHOWS? WHEN'S THE NEXT ONE, STAND-UP WISE? >> THE MIRAGE IN LAS VEGAS.