WHY DID I COME BACK TO ADULT SHOOTINGS­čö×

hey what's up guys and welcome to my youtube channel i'm really glad to have you here today and today we're gonna talk about something really sensitive something really hot and many of you was asking me lots of questions so today i'm going to share something sacral all right just the first thing i would like to mention uh first time and probably the last time i'm going to apologize for my english if you hear some mistakes here and there i just apologize me because english it's not my mother tongue and i'm doing my best to to get better at it but sometimes i make mistakes do make so anyway it doesn't make me a less good person or a relaxed blessed sexy person right yeah um i've been post i made a post on my instagram a few weeks ago a few weeks ago i made a post on my instagram that i'm actually used to be a porn star and i really miss it and i would like to go back and many of you was like super curious to know more about it some of you were shocked some of you were necessarily surprised some of you will probably unfollow me which is just i wish you all the best no hard feelings it's a choice for everyone but for me why i'm talking here now um actually i'm keen with the mission i need a mission everybody i think everybody has a mission here i really would like to open up a little bit this topic uh this taboo topic about sexuality about about relationship with the body and about porn in general because i see now and our society luckily in europe it's not that big it's not that bad like for instance in russia where i was born uh where people still quite conservative and many of them think like if you're in porn or in some any other sex industry and you are [ __ ] you know deserve to live you are something wrong with you you have you have no money or you cannot do anything else except of just opening your legs which is not the case for most cases and i would like to talk about it i'm not going to convince anyone to do what i'm doing just want to share my experience and my point of view on the porn industry and probably it will make it will open someone's mind a bit wider or it makes it will make someone's mood better i don't know let's have a try so uh i got lots of questions on my instagram from you guys and i wrote them down and here i would like to answer some of them and so yeah just to share how i feel about it let's go so first question i got do you miss doing adult acting yes yes and [ __ ] yes i'm sorry no i'm never sorry i'm i'm so very emotional about it actually yes i do miss porn shootings why just another question uh you know some of you knows that porn being porn shootings was part of my journey and my uh knowing self journey in my path i've been doing porn uh from 2013 till 2020 17 2017 i guess and yeah it's almost five years so excited yeah it's been a lot of things going on you know for me porn it's not just a quick way to make money i mean some people are saying that oh porn is just a quick money fast money or easy money which is not the [ __ ] case yes it could be fast money but not the easiest money you know at my 27 years old i realized that you can make money in a such different ways other than porn and good money and sometimes even better than in porn because poor now uh thanks to all this uh free websites and stillings videos uh like pornhub and stuff like that uh we don't make much money out of it it's i don't know you can work i think now it's uh working for the for an idea because if you want to get fast money you rather go to business to any other business i don't know to open your company i'll try you need to you need um to have brain like everywhere but if you're talking about adult business i think it's not easy money at all because first of all it's work and it's really hard work sometimes you can have shooting uh which could last like whole day 10 hours and you have to really perform you have to look beautiful you have to show that you're [ __ ] horny that you're enjoying the process so [ __ ] much that you in love with your partner and sometimes you have to show up also some incredible skills i mean like physical skills you know it's not it's not the same that you [ __ ] at home like in the gentle nice positions that is comfortable that it feels good and then 50 minutes you're done in the best way yeah 15 minutes sometimes it's even faster but there it's really hard work so next question i'm a bit nervous but apologizing for that at least i'm honest i'm open and transparent was it not weird to have intimate contact with a man you just met i'd like to know how it goes first talk meet and to see so thank you for your question i found this question is really interesting and yeah it's that's the part of this profession some part some actors there is not that much uh male actors in europe for instance i should only in europe i don't know maybe like 20 maybe 30 maximum that i know so it's already and if you work like years you become like i don't know like not like friends but it's like okay like you already get get to know each other you know sometimes and yeah some people you met there you already know i don't know it's kind of your bodies you just come and [ __ ] for money doing some perform some show you already know what is your turns on turns off you trying to support each other during the process to to help each other somehow but normally yes if you come just if you just started to sport or you definitely you have lots of cases where you just come and like okay this is your partner today you're doing this and that and okay you signed the contract uh model release and you do the things it's not weird for me i don't know have fun there is something it's actually turn me on if i if i have contact this person i don't know and you're trying to discover you know for me it's very important to really feel that my partner is feeling great while during the work during the sex whatever even in life in my sexual life for me it's the most turned on if i see that my partner actually feeling like really great it's really turned me on and i'm trying of course like yeah it's the idea it's it's really hot itself if you don't know someone and you gotta discover this body right next to you it's it's exciting i don't know it's not weird it's exciting for me but definitely sometimes sometimes you can you can talk before sometimes you don't have much time to talk before so it depends it's it's yeah part of the journey i guess uh the funniest thing i remember about one guy this movie after became kind of good friends but when the first time saw him i'm not gonna mention the name here if he's watching this now hey i really miss you uh it was for some prediction that we were um supposed to to have sex in public it was somewhere and in kind of i don't know old building an old roof top was really kind of weird and he like by scenario he's uh trying to pay me for a sex and kind of pick me up and give me some money to to to make me [ __ ] him so it was kind of like sex for money in this scenario it was funny scene but i remember i was like just doing my makeup i came to the studios doing my makeup just making myself really for a scene and i just see the guy a very big guy where like was colleen and he was like this is such a serious face he's asking the um i think the makeup artist or the uh producer like oh i need to make [ __ ] where is the toilet and it was like so strict and i was like oh what's the [ __ ] i was judging obviously like kind of animal is so animal and he was like i didn't like him since he he said that i was like oh was really disgusted i'm not a he's a disgust person but i didn't like him at all but actually the sex was like after when i got to know him the sex was so [ __ ] good and he was and he still i don't know he's still performing or not he's still my in my um favorite actors list so that was funny sometimes yes that's how you know each other let's say from some stupid phrases and then you make your conclusions but uh and sexes could be all different and you can change your opinion all right so the next one uh i think this is a quite primitive one it's probably from a person who don't know me at all which uh i really appreciate your any question can i find any of your adult videos online yes yes and [ __ ] yes as i mentioned on my instagram i've done i think more than 400 movies so you can find some of them for free on internet but what i advise you guys just my feelings like please pay for your porn because it's a way of respect if you subscribe for a website you you support the company who put all this effort to shoot this for you and also effort that the models done because this business now days becoming more and more um it's it's more in our hearts to make a really good money for it from it because there is so much pirates who just stealing the videos and selling them that yeah definitely you can find it for free i also have my pornhub channel subscribe to ac shanti and i'm willing to open my website probably in the some future i used to have some i closed it now now it's not exist anymore but i'm going to have probably one soon and i also was planning to have maybe some kind of platforms like only on the fans or something like that where you can also see some of my crazy crazy backstages that i won't post anywhere so it's a really exclusive content so say stay tuned and i will share the links soon all right next one um that's what i found funny from my uh really beloved fan one of my beloved one how did you manage to reach that free and loving state of mind love your kisses thank you so much i'm really glad if if you perceive me like this yes sometimes i i do feel yeah freedom is my biggest turn on i i always was looking for spiritual physical mental freedom that's why i'm so passionate about yoga but if you ask me this question can i ask not super serious as years of practicing meditation and masturbation if you can say that you know ah in past the the wisest man from the past say no self it just means so much for me literally because yeah we are we are trying to reach this free spirit state of mind but also if you don't know your body if you don't know how does it work if you don't know what's your [ __ ] turn on if you don't know how to give yourself pleasure if you don't know how to take care of your body if you don't know what has hurt you what is not if you don't know your limits how can you say that you know itself so my best worst advice no my best advice for you guys know yourself and to meditate and masturbate do it consciously just don't give a [ __ ] about what people think about just do what brings your pleasure oh my god the sun is so nice and bright today it's it's rare i'm really enjoying this but i have to adjust my camera that you can see me good uh well next question next question do you still have a private snapchat or will that be coming back when you go back to adult bees i think so yeah some of you knows that uh when i used to be in a shooting um that i used to have my private snapchat where i was sharing the hardest moments hottest backstages and the most intimate and hot hottest parts of my daily life so i'm thinking to to bring it back so stay tuned i will send you the links as soon as i will get it back i think it will be interesting yeah to to share this with people uh just to show that it's just a normal life just have more fun but still it's there is nothing wrong with that you know and if i can satisfy someone with this it will make me happy all right next one why do you start again giving up on finding true love wow that was a deep one yeah um well about this one because i have some similar questions and probably i'll read them also and then answer on all of them because they're quite similar talk uh so it was about why did i start it up again and the next one it came from my one of my good friends i'm not gonna mention the name here so she wrote me from a woman to woman perspective i feel there is so much objectification of the female body in the traditional adult scene that i cannot grasp how someone saw awakening would step back into it but i'm sure there is also more that i don't know since i'm an outsider i'm really curious to hear what is behind this decision of yours so yeah i'm really happy to answer this question because for me it's really important you know if you say people okay i'm doing porn the most person it's a stereotype like if you go to porn like there is something wrong with you or do you need money or oh probably because she cannot do anything or yeah people think that it's just easy money and you go there because something wrong with you or you cannot find love like the previous uh questions or but for me it's so when i stop it uh i i've done porn for five years and i was happy doing that but at some moment i wanted to discover another part of me i felt a call using me to to dedicate more time for my yoga practice to preserve my sexual energy to not not uh being in intimate contact with other people my true and i really was i felt a call to have a normal life normal relationships where i could be just with someone and i don't need others so ah i was just curious to try because in my life i it's a bit well numbered what's i gonna say now that i didn't have much relationships i mean you know what i mean like a serious committed this kind of stuff you know um and what i discovered i've tried several relationships it's not that i've given up i'm not giving up never in my life but it's it's a feeling if something yours or it's not something not yours you know what i mean like i don't feel that my nagano's relationship where i can be just with one person forever or like for a certain amount of time i don't think it's gonna work well for me i just feel that my sexual energy actually is so strong that if i if i just limit it with one partner i'm just i'm just dying or literally i feel that i feel that when i'm in relationship it doesn't matter how [ __ ] gorgeous the that i wish i had different persons with me i just feel that it's not enough it's i don't speak just about sexual uh sexual contact outro in of course like if you [ __ ] only this one guy it could be any amount of sex that's depend from the partner yeah but it's energetically i feel the hunger for others even if i love my person a lot even if i'm really like committed to stay with someone but physically i want this discovery you know but my thing maybe it's uh sounds contradictory to what i told before i don't i don't i'm not fond of [ __ ] around i'm not kind of girl who just goes to club and looking for one night stain or like something like that i i don't like it for me like if i do it for work for a movie yeah it's fun because i bring his down it's so funny enough i bring something good to this world i'm helping people to satisfy their desires but if i do it just for my own kind of pleasure if i hook around it doesn't feel right for my body it doesn't feel right i don't know it just never been fun of just packing around but for movies it's another thing from my perspective porn it's it's my contribution to the world let's say can you imagine the world without porn let's pretend without any uh sex workers without i don't know escorts without porn without webcam girls without all these videos without twitter porn on twitter there is a lot um can you imagine this kind of world the desire that everyone has and if you tell me now oh i don't watch porn i don't [ __ ] believe you everybody is watching porn if you don't like porn that's mean you didn't find the porn that you like but everybody loves that it's inside us it's i don't know it's something that we desire so much and sexual energy it's a really powerful energy and if you don't know how to control that and if you suppress that if you i don't say now that you have to express it in some inappropriate crazy ways uh depends yeah for me if it doesn't hurt anyone if everybody is agreeing for what is happening then why not so coming back uh to the world without porn without sexual without available sex yeah because now uh some some of the girls basically i can't understand like if you work in office from eight to five and then you have to i don't know to do your kind of normal life and you have to serve to your man and to give a little bit take care of your kind of of yourself like it doesn't make sense and i understand why many people now doesn't desire that much sex they primitively they just don't have time for it they don't have time to feel their beauty to take care of themselves and to take care of their sexual aspects of them and i know many women after they got married having some kids they really forget to take care of the about themselves and they're really losing this this i don't know this open horny state of mind when you can just take your guy for a [ __ ] bring him to the fitting room and give him a crazy blow job no matter if people like walking around like in a shop or like in to have sex in the cafe or like you know on a rooftop even like this kind of little crazy things people don't do much in in life because they're so [ __ ] with their job with their problems with their lives they [ __ ] up from their lives so and what's happening next that you're a man or you're a woman mostly you're a man and you have this desire to [ __ ] to express the sexual energy and there is no sense there is no porn can you imagine that there is no who cares i really appreciate their words what they do for a society because then the man some of the men will go to the street and they actually gonna rape our sisters our mothers our kids because if you suppress that it doesn't mean that it's not exist if you suppress the sexual energy it will take such a crazy shape that you cannot imagine i don't know if it's the case here in europe but in russia now you can speak freely about russia i'm not there anymore in russia you can really like there is so much stories about this damn [ __ ] pedophiles in the church guys hopes in the church here and there like it's really common thing [ __ ] and raping the little kids why is he doing that because of this [ __ ] suppressed energy because they have to play holy and clean and it just suppressed energy that found her way in such an abusive manner because it wasn't satisfied and at the right time probably so my card was full so i'm probably talking a lot i had to move all on my computer and now we continue uh yeah we were talking about the suppressed sexual energy so for me porn it's my contribution it's something that i could do better this than some others something that i think is my talent to make it beautiful to make it essential to make it really with passion because i'm thinking i'm quite open-minded person and i'm quite uh freedom freak that i could express that in my movies so and i was thinking yeah i felt a call to do it because in me first of all just like it's nice way to contribute in this world everybody brings what they can and when they desire to bring someone is a doctor someone is a psychotherapist someone is porn star i mean you you help people you can help people in many ways right and as they're saying what i noticed it's really big part of me how i decided to come back actually to porn it's a funny thing i was scrolling pornhub don't ask me why everybody's doing that right and my god i found a video i i mean that day i was i was watching a couple of videos it was from vixen and another video was from black and i was [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] amazed vixen oh my god when i was in porn i didn't have access to vixen company as within invite me and i didn't know that they should in europe so it's it for those who don't know it's kind of porn which like uh instagram style you know on instagram everybody trying to be like luxury like her best cars this is my versace this is my language you know this kind of thing and vixen it's a kind of luxury porn if you know what they're talking about like they they have like crazy locations helicopters huge villas i don't know like somewhere in jungles like this kind of thing you know and i watched one of the videos and i was like wow really [Music] okay i didn't know it's possible to do that i mean no if you should of course for some good companies it's always good villas good travelings goods really good places but that one like if you're [ __ ] a private helicopter you know this kind of thing or like some collection in cars i was like wow this was really amazing like what they do and how they should it's really an art it's really an art because i know from if you should for certain productions like sex art for instance or tdf or some other companies sometimes it's really like you can shoot the sex part okay and then you're done but even like this little part which most of you are skipping like at the beginning the love story or like sometimes shouldn't like whole day you know this little few minutes because it's so beautifully shot you wake up early in the morning to find the best sunlight to go to the location and and to do your things you know so sometimes it's really priceless and it's really so much effort in it and it's really an art it's really beautiful it's really yeah and when uh coming back to my story when i saw that video i was like i think i've even cried after i'm survey i felt such a call within me that i was watching like oh my god i used to do that and it was such a beautiful video i don't even remember which model was i saw with several models i know but i was like i can do that i used to do it and i felt really miss for that activity because it was early i i'm not gonna hide it was really a fun time for me when i was in the in the shootings because it's always traveling to the best destinations great locations you [ __ ] and the best places with the best looking actors and actresses is the sexiest people in the world you're doing the most crazy things the most crazy fantasies stories are realized there and you get paid for that you can't even like get quite some good money for that then why not you know if you can do it like with pleasure then why [ __ ] not i really felt a call that i'm really missing and another uh reason last but not least uh you know i've been talking about about uh me that i needed the time when i would go like doing lots of yoga not dating much people not just you know being myself but what i noticed so i stopped shooting and i even haven't done much shooting for the past year like software even like art nude i didn't do much because i felt i needed a break to really like to be in myself to clean up in my mind and what i noticed that actually the way how you look the way how you feel the way yeah even like your your um libido if i talk in libido as a level of energy your life force you can call it prana it's also decrease i mean in my example if i stop doing shootings i'll try to explain if you work if your work is 24 7 being sexy if you're like spending hours on the shootings to do the best you can to really tease to become this [ __ ] satisfying gorgeous sketches of love of arrows if you're playing that role and if you have like a part like your snapchat or during the day you're still doing these kind of things teasing people constantly making someone someone [ __ ] hard constantly i don't know it's something chain within you today how you move the way how you talk debate how you react just everything you becoming sex itself you becoming so sexual you're becoming so essential and for me it's really great way to connect with my feminine energy with my inner goddess because i think i could not work in office because i love myself too much i don't say that people who work in an office or wherever else they don't love themselves but for me i love to keep just doing what is makes me happy and beautiful and sexy for me it's one of the biggest turn on in life because if i look at me and i love how look if i love how i feel and if i feel sexy oh my god i can move mountains this is so empowering feeling and this is another reason why i started to miss shootings because i don't know it's awakening this inner goddess inside me that i want to please like whole world you know i want to become this shakti for the whole world to get to become this symbol that people love that people [ __ ] fapping on doesn't matter it's it's just the energy and some people yeah i understand the worry of my friend that from woman's perspective that men that's poor now it's more sleep for men and stuff like this uh partially i can agree there is there are studios and i will work for some of them where uh by scenario or by style of the studio you have to be humiliated you have to be really uh raped you can call it right on the camera i had myself some shootings where i was really so hardly [ __ ] up i was thinking i'm gonna die you know right there some shootings are really extreme but first of all you choose yourself when you where you want to shoot and why you want to shoot again for me you can call it super or whatever you can judge but it's just my perception and i'm not gonna change it if there is a stupid guy or a sick guy let's call it sick or whatever mental ill guy or suppressed guy he had a [ __ ] desire to rape someone he cannot he cannot do anything he cannot work he cannot you know there's a deep desire that you have and you cannot do anything you need to to do something about it you know maniac and instead of going on the street or like going online to find someone who could he can seduce and to do his things if instead of this he will find my porn on pornhub or whatever lego porn where i am humiliated where i'm where i play where where i'm playing to be raped because still yeah it looks sometimes hard sometimes it just look hard and actually be enjoying but we we have to pretend that we don't like it at all sometimes this is the case sometimes it's really hard of course uh if instead of going and rape someone he would choose to jerk on my video maybe to listen after my meditations that i'm gonna record also to satisfy me completely and then forget about this and just go come back to his work or his duties or doing his things then it's made me happy you know if if my video can help even like the the one case in the world if it can help at least one i don't know life one someone's life like this then i do it for something you know then it's not worthless it's definitely brings a lot of value and yeah it's quite serious topic with that and for me it's really vulnerable to share this but this is what is this really because i know myself like even if you have like really strong desires and if you don't manifest it it really can trigger you so much in it will affect your relationship it will affect your mood it will affect your work it will affect your whole [ __ ] life that's why i prefer to give this gift to the world just okay drag on me all over me imagine that i'm yours imagine like just for movies you know then it's make me happy if i can help someone like this and another question another thing that uh someone point out that if i give up for love i don't give up for love i never give up i'm still like open in my heart but um i told you i'm not a fan of hooking around and i'm not either a fan of dating around you know like to trying to make this relationship than that i could try but it's never served me and for me for a moment i don't find a person that i really would like to commit to i don't know if i'll ever find him or not we'll see but every time i go to do because i'm really free person and i don't like to be like string attached i don't like to be controlled i don't like that someone say okay your dna your dna belongs just to my dna and you're not allowed to [ __ ] someone else this is a jail for me i cannot live like this i don't say that you have to abuse that trust and [ __ ] around but this doesn't work for me you know and when i come to the shooting for me everywhere all especially i like to read i really like to shoot for companies who really do care about the love story some more romantic uh episodes i don't know it's satisfied something within me something that maybe i'm not accomplishing in life you can call it like this since i don't have relationships and we all have this desire to be loved but every time i go to the scene and i don't know we walk with the guy or i picked up by the car on the street by some scenario or we met somewhere and there is a connection you play this connection i really try to find this connection with someone and i really try to feel what my hero my actress my role is gonna is would would feel for this man if it would be in the real person and i really live my everyday role and i don't know i i have a ability to awakening this kind of some people say that my some of my videos are really real uh really like it's not the fake that you can feel that i'm enjoying that that you feel that if my kiss that this is real if i [ __ ] that this is real [ __ ] it's not just like you know fake porn i think that's why i i had so much followers in the past and um fans of my activity but for me it's really about awakening this feeling of love for a person that i don't know this union which we call yoga yeah right yo gets me means union i don't know for me it's a way to to really connect and i satisfy i play the love on video and i satisfy this love desire within me and then we done the scene we get paid we and that's it you say oh it was nice to meet you nice to meet you too and that's it and we gone and i maintain my freedom by having my money i'm enjoying my best life i can have as many partners as i could i'm helping to the world in my in my way and i'm just [ __ ] free you know for me this is really satisfying and this is the thing why i decided to come back to porn so ah i think this video is already quite long uh i got some more questions which i will probably answer next uh time if you like this video like comment share and open subscribe your mind ins in any way and yeah i really hope that you enjoy that and please subscribe please follow me wherever my twitter my instagram my youtube my snapchat my only fans my pornhub channel wherever you can reach me please give me some love and i love you back thank you so much i really love you all bye-bye

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