Women Tell Their Funniest Ramadan Stories

- I don't know what it's taste like when it's become Jesus-- - These are the kinds of things that make-- - There was a pig situation, I was like this feels off. - So I'm eating this-- - There was one Ramadan where basically it was my lag year between college, my internship, and grad school and somehow it seems like when you have nothing to do during Ramadan, fasting is easier but it's actually the quite opposite. Being sort of in a routine and doing your daily life it's a lot easier to fast and so I was really struggling fasting during this time. My sister also had a lag year so one Ramadan we just basically would sleep all day which is like not the point and then we would break our fast and then until then we watched Criminal Minds until sahur time, then we'd eat and then we'd do it all over again. And that was my normal life for an entire month. Like nine seasons and there was one particular episode that there was a pig situation and we were like this feels off, this is not something we should be watching. It was a really scary episode. People were feeding women to pigs in this episode. That's not my proudest Ramadan, but it is what it is. - Okay, okay, one Ramadan I was in the awkward position of deciding whether to break my fast with an unconsecrated communion host. I went to a Catholic high school. For all the non-Catholics out there, during mass Catholics take communion, it's a host, a wafer and some wine. The Priests like whisper a prayer over the host, turn it into Jesus, his body and then they turn the wine into his blood. So I wasn't sure how to convert, but I really wanted to know what that wafer tasted like and everyone knew it. Everyone knew the Muslim wanted to know what the wafer tasted like. So Ramadan of my junior year, this nun decides to make my dreams come true. She breaks into the school communion stash, she runs off with a wafer just for me. She's like here it is, the wafer, the wafer of your dreams. And I'm thinking, oh my god, I'm fasting. What am I gonna do? Everyone's watching me, I think everyone knew I was fasting. I had like Ramadan breath, anyway, I'm eating it. And I don't know what it's taste like when it's become Jesus but before it becomes Jesus, it tastes like old paper. So I'm thinking to myself, you know what, damn I should've asked for the wine too, you know. If you're gonna go down, might as well go down in flames. - So a couple of years ago my best friend and I decided that for Iftar rather than just having you know, like a regular dinner spread, we would host a thing called Pizza Olympics. Where we would order pizza from any place that we could think of, have it all delivered to one location and then we would make all of our guests have a slice of each pizza and then rank them to determine which one is the best because we love science and we love pizza and these are the kinds of things that make a lot of sense when you haven't eaten for 14 hours. So we set up our party, all the pizza comes. It's all Margherita because it has to be standardized obviously. This is the Olympics, we care about rigor. We lay it out and people are getting in line, getting their pizza and eating it. And then there's just this guy who's a friend of someone else's looking at the pizza with like kind of the judgy face. And because I'm trying to be gracious because it is the spirit of Ramadan, I ask him, hey please take a plate please help yourself. And then he tells me that he doesn't like pizza, it's disgusting and it's kind of fattening and do we have anything else like salad that he would eat. Who eats salad, nobody eat salad during Ramadan. The point is fried things and that's when I learned the real lesson of Ramadan is that while not eating food and not drinking water can be challenging, not being really shady is very hard. (playful music)

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