You Look Like Church Camp Drake


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coming to you from the ph cafe in Memphis, Tennessee this is you look I'm your host touch Weezy and this is you little woman's playing this game Eri sweet we got two comedians locked in a battle of insults but the only rule is you got to start with you look like you look like you like to go on ghost tours... You look like the hardest dude at hot yoga winners just take home the crown losers go to the mirror of shame. Let's meet our contenders my name is Charlie McMullen I'm from Colorado originally I'm high most of the time pretty much everybody I've ever known has told me at some point that I look like Kevin Smith and then a couple years ago I lost a bunch of weight and the first time someone said hey you look like a skinny Kevin Smith I was like yeah I do my name is Richard Douglas Jones while I was at work somebody jumped off the roof and killed himself my coworker and I found the body later on that day my girlfriend of three years decided that she didn't want to be with me anymore when you find a dead body and your girlfriend dumps you the productivity goes down at work so then you get fired and I decided that it was either gonna go to do stand-up a groove a nice groove in the couch maybe even fuse together with the cushion Sean are you ready for the first round looking like you stopped drawing that day let you watch Oh bubble ready Richard's ready looking like you'll pull out game only let's do it go ahead shake all right now let's count it down three you look like a middle-aged team war you look like a clone of James Earl Jones but the last have a hundred where they're scraping the side of the container you look like a hipster Hobbit you look like if Marcellus Wallace did look like you look like you were breastfed - you're seven you look like you jerk off just to lie to your Fitbit you look like you have multiple swords hanging on your wall you look like a baby who doesn't know he's a baby you look like a grown up version of the kid that punk would let go and tried to teach how to play baseball you look like post-chemo Jordan Peele you look like Kevin Smith's shrunk in the wash going home so let's find out who that will be tonight all right so if y'all think Charlie should move on to the next round y'all make some noise but y'all paying Richardson move on to the next round yeah Charlie you got a ride a Harley little with you look like a character written out of an earlier draft of Silicon Valley you look like wolf Blitzer's ungrateful son Spencer Blitzer in fact you look like you have a soundproof basement you call the Situation Room you look like you've bought tickets at a little of fair price the second round is about to be you throwing you all back at the grill my name is shawni my case if I just go by Casey because it's easier I met this guy who's German and Tunisian makes and really cured on and we've gone a boat under like the entire Milky Way you can see it and I was a double orgasm just for its nature and him and then why we were someone stole his passport I don't know if it was worth it for him I can't be sure about that my name is Sammy anser and besides being a comedian asshole I'm a high school teacher being a teacher I really like the power it's like telling an eighteen year olds with the prison record that they can have the bathroom pass is like but don't tell my principal has done that sir this is gonna be a very cultural match let's go and get straight to it are you ready I'm ready are you ready I'm ready go ahead and shake it up all right it's our favorite boy great you look like you've bet on the outcome of a monkey fight you look like church camp drape you look like you shoplift to candy ones and you almost got your fingers chopped off you look like olive oil cocoa butter you look like your dowry with two sheep and a Ford Fiesta you look like you could show me a whole new world you look like you tell people what country you're from and then you have to show it to them on a map you look like you think you have haters you look like for 12 cents a day I feel like we just took a trip around the world in 30 second Kasey should move on to the next round y'all make some noise yeah yeah done all right let's get his name move y'all think Sammy should go to the next right now make some noise it looks like somebody about to keep you coming let's keep me coming with Casey Casey stance Casey stance will keep it coming Sammy Sammy Sammy you look like it's a confusing time during the holidays you look like you don't say okay you just say that you look like you got your second callback for an audition with Isis you look like you're not sure which minority box you check off top straight into this are you ready buddy let's do it buddy are you ready yes go ahead a shake yes all right yeah count with me three two one you look like you know somebody that died in a panda attack you look like your head is someone's you look like you're still not comfortable wearing shoes you look like tots know you by name because you call them so much you look like you could crack a coconut with your feet you look like you watch hentai for the storyline you look like Mowgli from The Jungle Book it looked like you joined the Freemasons to make more black friends alright so if y'all think Casey deserves the crown make some noise right if y'all think Richard deserves the crown y'all make some noise JC is taking you home good night don't try and trade that in for valuable foods reminds me of home good you look like a disgrace you look like everything your father said about you is absolutely true you look like old man herckel you look like you either trying to hold your breath or you just fed watch where you step apart it you look like you can always see pass tomorrow